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December 2, 2021
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“What do you call the new girl at the bank?”/“The Nutella!”

Nutella is a brand of sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread. Some people pronounce it like "new-tella," and they wonder if there is or was an "Oldtella." "Nutella: better than…

April 26, 2022
Food/Drink

“What do you call the offspring of two dump trucks?”/“Dumplings.”

Dumplings have nothing to do with dump trucks, but there are jokes. "'Someone needs to do a dumpling food truck w/ potstickers, momos and stuff. And call it The Dump Truck.'…

September 12, 2021
Transportation

“What do you call the pants that have your car keys?”/“Khaki pants.”

"Khaki" can sometimes sound like "car key." "One of my favorite clients (a NY'er) was telling me about how he left his car keys in the fridge. At first I thought he…

May 31, 2022
Food/Drink

“What do you call the scraps of food that fall from the table?”/“Floor d’oeuvres.”

"Floor d’oeuvre" (floor + hors d’oeuvre) is a bit of food dropped on the floor, often to be eaten by a dog or a toddler. "#365newwords 106 floor d'oeuvres (noun) : food…

August 7, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What do you call the study of feminism?”/“Triggernometry.”

Several jokes have it that feminists study "trigonometry" or "triggernometry" (trigger + trigonometry). "If a tumblr feminist majors in Women's rights, what do they…

August 7, 2017
Education/Schools

“What do you call the study of feminism?”/“Trigonometry.”

Several jokes have it that feminists study "trigonometry" or "triggernometry" (trigger + trigonometry). "If a tumblr feminist majors in Women's rights, what do they…

November 5, 2020
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What do you call thistle that grows in far away places?”/“Thattle.”

"Thistle" seems to imply the existence of "thattle," like the words "this" and "that." "Are you sure that's a thistle? Looks more like a thattle to…

March 16, 2022
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What do you call those little green buildings inhabited by Irish wee folk?”/“Leprecondos.”

"Leprecondo" (leprechaun + condo) is a popular St. Patrick's Day joke. "LEPRECONDOS" was printed in a real estate ad in the San Angelo (TX) Standard-Times on March 17,…

June 1, 2023
Transportation

“What do you call those things you blow and make a wish?”/“Breathalyzers.”

"My friend: 'What do you call those things you blow and make a wish?' Me: 'Breathalyzer?'" is a joke that has been printed on many images. A birthday cake has candles,…

October 12, 2025
Food/Drink

“What do you call three intoxicated ghosts?”/“Three sheets to the wind.”

Ghosts are often depicted wearing sheets and saying "boo." Several popular Halloween jokes have ghosts with "boos" ("booze') and getting "sheet-faced"…

February 7, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What do you call twin police officers?”/“Copies.”

A police riddle is: Q: What do you call twin police officers?A: Copies. The joke is that "cop" becomes "copies." "What do u call twin police officers? Copies" was…

October 14, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you call two banana skins?”/“A pair of slippers.”

The banana peel gag -- laughing at someone slipping on a banana peel -- was popular in the late 1800s and early 1900s. One joke is: Q: What do you call two banana skins?A: A pair of slippers.…

August 17, 2020
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What do you call two crows on a branch?”/“Attempted murder.”

A group of crows is a "murder." A riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What do you call two crows on a branch?A: Attempted murder. "What do you call two crows on a branch?…

November 20, 2017
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What do you call two men hanging from a window?”/“Kurt n Rod.”

"Kurt 'n' Rod" is an appropriate name (aptronym) for "curtain rod." "Kurt N Rod" was the name of a horse in 1966. A riddle version was posted on the…

February 21, 2017
Transportation

“What do you call two people in an ambulance?”/“A pair of medics.”

A pun about ambulance paramedics has been printed on several images: Q: What do you call two people in an ambulance?A: A pair of medics (paramedics). "What do you call two people in an…

April 29, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What do you call two pints of strict rules?”/“A quart of law.”

"A court of law" shouldn't be confused with "a quart of law." The western television series The Texan aired the episode "A Quart of Law" on January 12, 1959.…

March 31, 2025
Food/Drink

“What do you call two punctuation marks having dinner?”/“Accommodate.”

A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 16, 2025: "What do you call two punctuation marks having dinner? Accommodate." "Accommodate" sounds like "a comma…

December 12, 2021
Food/Drink

“What do you call two salads madly in love?”/“Hopeless romainetics.”

"Romainetic" (romaine lettuce + romantic) is a portmanteau word that is somewhat popular on Valentine's Day (February 14). "The gigolo, now in his salad days, was still…

October 11, 2021
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What do you call two witches living together?”/“Broommates.”

A popular Halloween riddle is: Q: What do you call two witches who live together?A: Broom mates! "Broommate" and "broomate" (broom + roommate) have both been used as the…

October 11, 2021
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What do you call two witches sharing an apartment?”/“Broommates.”

A popular Halloween riddle is: Q: What do you call two witches who live together?A: Broom mates! "Broommate" and "broomate" (broom + roommate) have both been used as the…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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