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October 22, 2017
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What do you call two witches who live together?”/“Broommates.”

A popular Halloween riddle is: Q: What do you call two witches who live together?A: Broom mates! "Broommate" and "broomate" (broom + roommate) have both been used as the…

June 5, 2024
Exercise/Running/Health ClubsFood/Drink

“What do you call weightlifting vegetables?”/“Muscle sprouts.”

There are "Brussels sprouts" and no "muscle sprouts," but there are jokes. "What kind of vegetables workout in a gym? Muscle sprouts" was posted on X/Twitter by Dr.…

May 6, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What do you call Wikipedia for babies?”/“Wikipedialyte.”

"Wikipedialyte" (Wikipedia + Pedialyte) doesn't exist, but there are jokes. "Then u could give them wikipedialyte when they're sick :D RT @camoozle: I want to have…

May 8, 2018
Food/Drink

“What do you call Wikipedia for babies?”/“Wikipedialyte.”

"Wikipedialyte" (Wikipedia + Pedialyte) doesn't exist, but there are jokes. "Then u could give them wikipedialyte when they're sick :D RT @camoozle: I want to have…

December 8, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you catch if you go fishing with gummy worms?”/“Swedish Fish.”

An obvious gummi candy riddle is: Q: What do you catch if you go fishing with gummy worms?A: Swedish Fish. "How do you catch swedish fish? With gummy worms!" was posted on Twitter on…

March 28, 2023
Work/Businesses

“What do you do for a living?”/“My best. I do my best.”

Entry in progress -- BP

February 9, 2024
Work/Businesses

“What do you do if you get rejected from a job at a sunscreen factory? Reapply!”

"I applied for a job at a sunscreen factory. Unfortunately, I didn't get it. No worries. I'm going to re-apply" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Kim Harman on September…

October 20, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What do you do when you don’t have any rubber bands?”/“See if you can find a plastic orchestra.”

A band/orchestra riddle is: Q: What do you do when you don't have any rubber bands?A: See if you can find a plastic orchestra. The joke was posted on a Laffy Taffy wrapper by at least 2005.…

August 3, 2016
Streets

“What do you do when you see a spaceman?”/“You park, man.”

A parking joke is: Q: What do you do when you see a space man?A: You park in it, man. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokesJoke made me laugh when…

April 17, 2018
Sports/Games

“What do you do with an elephant with three balls?”/“Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.”

An elephant riddle is: Q: What do you do with an elephant with three balls?A: Walk him and pitch to the giraffe. The surprise answer reveals that this is a baseball joke. The joke has been cited in…

December 7, 2017
Food/DrinkTime/Weather

“What do you drain your Brussels sprouts with at Christmas?”/“An Advent colander.”

An Advent calendar shouldn't be written as an Advent "colander," but there have been several puns. "Each day the little Cratchits would peer through a different hole in the…

April 20, 2019
Food/Drink

“What do you eat when your Pop Tarts get stuck and break in half?”/“Top Parts.”

"Top-Parts" is a spoonerism of Pop-Tarts, a toaster pastry. "Top Parts is a spoonerism of Pop Tarts" was posted on Twitter by Jenifer S. on May 30, 2012. There have been many…

February 14, 2017
Education/Schools

“What do you feed a baby parabola?”/“Quadratic formula.”

A math pun on the word "formula" has been printed on several images: Q: What do you feed a baby parabola?A: Quadratic formula. "What does a baby parabola drink? Quadratic…

November 4, 2020
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“What do you get after eating horsemeat?”/“The trots.”

A obvious joke about eating horse meat is that it gives you "the trots" (diarrhea). "Will eating horse meat give you the trots?" was posted on Twitter by Yahoo! AnswersBOT on…

November 6, 2025
Food/Drink

“What do you get for the bagel that has everything?”

"What do you get for a person who has everything?" is a birthday and Christmas gift dilemma for many people. The "everything bagel" is sometimes added to make this phrase a…

December 7, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What do you get from a cowmedian?”/“Cream of Wit!”

A cow riddle is: Q: What do you get from a cowmedian?A: Cream of wit. A "cowmedian" is a "cow-comedian." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Wikipedia: Cream…

December 17, 2017
Food/Drink

“What do you get from a cowmedian?”/“Cream of Wit!”

A cow riddle is: Q: What do you get from a cowmedian?A: Cream of wit. A "cowmedian" is a "cow-comedian." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Wikipedia: Cream…

April 16, 2018
Food/Drink

“What do you get from a drunk chicken?”/“Scotch eggs.”

"Scotch eggs" don't contain Scotch whisky, but there's a riddle: Q: What do you get from a drunk chicken?A: Scotch eggs. The Scotch eggs joke was posted on the newsgroup…

November 16, 2022
Food/Drink

“What do you get from a dwarf cow?”/“Condensed milk.”

A milk riddle is: Q: What do you get from a dwarf cow?A: Condensed milk. "The biology department of Alabama is attempting to produce a dwarf cow to yield condensed milk. -- Rollins…

March 8, 2018
Food/Drink

“What do you get from a forgetful cow?”/“Milk of amnesia.”

A cow riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What do you get from a forgetful cow?A: Milk of amnesia. "Absent-minded cows give milk of amnesia. -- J. C. Salak" was cited in print…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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