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March 16, 2021
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“After 30, you can’t eat Taco Bell and have sex in the same day”

Taco Bell food can cause diarrhea. "You can't have Taco Bell and sex in the same day. It's just science" was posted on Twitter by Stoic Disnterest on July 13, 2015. "And if…

July 17, 2024
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“After 35, there’s no way to get out of a pool float with your dignity intact”

"Fact: There's no graceful way to get on a pool float" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "After 35, there’s no way to get out of a pool float with your dignity…

March 17, 2021
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“After 40, you can’t have Taco Bell and sex in the same day”

Taco Bell food can cause diarrhea. "You can't have Taco Bell and sex in the same day. It's just science" was posted on Twitter by Stoic Disnterest on July 13, 2015. "And if…

March 16, 2018
Food/Drink

“After 8 beers I was dangerously weaving in the middle of the road…” (joke)

A drinking joke was posted on Twitter on October 28, 2012: "After finishing 10 pints I was weaving in the middle of the road. I thought, 'It'd probably be safer to make this basket…

January 28, 2026
Time/Weather

“After a snowfall, people used to say it ‘snew.’ Today, most people say ‘snowed,’ but both are technically correct”

"It snode" (for "it snowed") is a snow spelling/saying/meme that has been printed on many images. "It snew" has also been used and the Merriam-Webster Dictionary…

December 30, 2022
Food/Drink

“After all the eating I did over the holidays, I am happy to report that my socks still fit”

"After all the eating I did over the holidays, I am happy to report that my socks still fit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "After all the eating I did…

June 3, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“After all the stupid things I’ve done in my life, if I die because I touched my face…”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some public health warnings cautioning people not to touch their face. "I swear... after all the stupid, backward ass, ignorant stuff I’ve done…

June 2, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“After all this bullshit, we better be in the next bible”

The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic made the year 2020 a bad year for many people. Ray Gilbert Jr. posted this on Facebook on December 12, 2020: "After all this bullshit we better be in the…

September 27, 2025
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“After bills and Christmas shopping, the only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date”

"Just paid my bills, only thing left on my card is my name & expiration date" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The name and expiration date are printed on the…

January 19, 2016
Food/Drink

“After dinner, I don’t brush my teeth. I count them”

New York-based stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) joked about his wife's cooking: "I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count…

February 17, 2018
Food/Drink

“After dinner, my wife asked me if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it”

To "clear the table" usually means to take away dinner plates, but a pun was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on April 14, 2017: "After dinner my wife asked me if I could clear the table. I…

February 16, 2020
Food/Drink

“After drinking whiskey, driving is risky”

"After whisk(e)y, driving risky" (or "After drinking whisk(e)y, driving is risky") is road sign that has been printed on many images. The sign has been popular in Central Asia.…

February 16, 2020
Transportation

“After drinking whisky, driving is risky”

"After whisk(e)y, driving risky" (or "After drinking whisk(e)y, driving is risky") is road sign that has been printed on many images. The sign has been popular in Central Asia.…

July 17, 2018
Transportation

“After filling up my gas tank this morning before work, I realized that I didn’t want to eat…”

A joke about high gas prices was posted on Twitter on June 1, 2011: "After filling up my gas tank, I realized that I didn't want to eat for the rest of the week anyways." "After…

September 30, 2025
Food/Drink

“After five times of trying to spell hors d’oeuvres in an email: ‘there will be snacks’”

Many people find it difficult to spell "hors d'oeuvres." Words such as "tapas" and "appetizers" and "snacks" have been used instead. "I think white…

December 22, 2024
Food/DrinkTime/Weather

“After getting up at stupid o’clock this morning, I’m looking forward to wine o’clock tonight”

"I hate getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The term "stupid o'clock" refers to an unreasonably early hour…

August 2, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“After I drink coffee, I show my empty mug to the IT guy and say I’ve successfully installed Java”

Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitter♡ brian essbe ♡‏ @SortaBadAfter I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java. He hates me.12:53 PM - 23…

August 2, 2017
Food/Drink

“After I drink coffee, I show my empty mug to the IT guy and say I’ve successfully installed Java”

Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Java (programming language)Java is a general-purpose computer programming language that is concurrent, class-based, object-oriented, and specifically designed…

January 29, 2023
Food/Drink

“After I finish my morning cup of coffee, I like to take a break and have a cup of coffee”

"After I finish my morning cup of coffee, I like to take a break and have a cup of coffee" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Mama's Coffee Shop on July 21, 2020. The…

January 31, 2023
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“After I’m done snacking, I have to show my hands to the dog like I’m a black jack dealer”

"When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The dog is looking the some food.…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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