“‘Yay! It’s the weekend!’ Said nobody who works in a restaurant”
"'Yay! It's the weekend! Said nobody who works in a restaurant" is a jocular line that has been printed on several ecards. "'Yay!!! It's the weekend!!!'…
“‘Yeah, engage your core or whatever.’—impersonal trainer”
Many people who go to the gym to work out have a personal trainer. Are there impersonal trainers? "I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone and…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a big disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“‘You are what you eat.’ I don’t remember eating a massive disappointment”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“‘You’re not the boss of me,’ I say as I let the dog in and out 17 times in a row”
"You're not the boss of me. My dog is" has been printed on many images, and "You're not the boss of me. My cat is" has also been printed on many images. It often seems…
“‘Your bill is ready to view’ well I’m not ready to view it”
"'Your bill is ready to view' well I’m not ready to view it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many people are not fully prepared to see how much they…
“‘Your network connection is unstable’— yeah well so am I and I still work”
A communication network is sometimes "unstable" and stops working. "'Your network connection is unstable' … ye well so am I and I still work" was posted on Facebook…
“‘Your password is weak’ well so is my memory so plz let me keep it”
"'Your password is weak' well so is my memory so plz let me keep it" is a computer joke that has been printed on many images. There are several slight variations.…
“‘Yum, kipper!’—a Jewish man enjoying his breakfast on the Day of Atonement”
Yom Kippur (the Jewish Day of Atonement) shouldn't be confused with kipper (a fish that is often eaten for breakfast), but there are jokes. "Celebrating this Jewish holiday with a fish…
“‘I said NO!’—Me, about to give my dog my sandwich”
A dog often wants the sandwich that an owner is eating. The owner might say "no," but the dog often wins the sandwich in the end. "I said 'No' -- Me, about to give my dog a…
“(I Love to Play Piano) Let Me Bang Your Box” (1954)
"(I Love to Play Piano) Let Me Bang Your Box" is a 1954 novelty song by The Toppers. Robin Byrd (www.robinbyrd.com) plays the song at the end of her Manhattan cable tv sex show, "The…
“(I will gladly pay you Tuesday for) A hamburger today”
"I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" was spoken by the comic character J. Wellington Wimpy in E. C. Segar's 1930s comic strip "Thimble Theatre," featuring…
“(I’ll give you my gun when you take it) From my cold, dead hands”
"I will give up my gun when they pry my cold, dead fingers from around it" is a bumper sticker slogan supporting gun rights and dating from at least March 1972. "I'll give up my…
“(Liar, liar) Pants on fire”
The St. Petersburg (FL) Times originated in 2007 a website, Politifact.com, to check political facts. Statements are judged on a "Truth-O-Meter" with grades of True, Mostly True, Half…
“(Not for) All the tea in China”
"All the tea in China" means a great amount; the Chinese grow and consume large amounts of tea. "Not for all the tea in China" means that someone won't do something, even…
“(When you) Get a hunch, bet a bunch”
"(When you) Get a hunch, bet a bunch" has been a gambling saying since at least 1937. The saying was also adopted by the racetrack, with this ending: "Get a hunch and bet a bunch --…
“[buying a dog] Hi yes I want to be absolutely devastated in like 11 years or so”
Dogs have short lives, and their passing can be heartbreaking. This was posted on X/Twitter by the pan-midwesterner on January 15, 2018, and it received over 15,000 likes: [buying a dog] "hi…
“[Date] ‘I’m going to use the restroom *leans over table* and I counted my onion rings, there’s six’”
Sometimes a person has to get up to use the rest room during a restaurant meal. However, that person can't trust that another at the table won't eat the french fries (or onion rings).…