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April 1, 2010
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu”

"If you're not at the table, you're on the menu" (or, "You're either at the table or on the menu") means that if you're not at the (bargaining) table, then…

February 10, 2010
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not catching flak, you’re not over the target”

"Flak" (anti-aircraft fire) became a widely used term during World War II. "If you're not catching flak, you're not over the target" (or "If you're catching…

August 18, 2012
Sports/Games

“If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying” (sports adage)

Many athletes go to great lengths to get any edge they can against their competition; this often includes taking performance-enhacing drugs. "If you're not cheating, you're not…

October 1, 2020
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“If you’re not dripping with sweat at the gym, you ain’t doing it right”

Many people believe that if you work out, it should end with you dripping with sweat. "If you don't sweat....you ain't doin' it right" was posted on Twitter by Scott…

April 15, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not fighting for the things you care about, you’re losing”

Australian editor, publisher, and cypherpunk activist Julian Assange is the subject of the 2016 documentary film by Laura Poitras titled Risk. Assange is quoted: "The risk of inaction is…

August 18, 2015
Work/Businesses

“If you’re not in the room, then you’re not at the table”

Entry in progress -- B.P. QuartzAugust 18, 2015The White House appointed its first openly transgender stafferWRITTEN BYAnnalisa Merelli(...)Wade Henderson, president of The Leadership Conference…

June 12, 2024
Food/DrinkRestaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresTransportation

“If you’re not meant to drink and drive, then why do you need a driver’s license to buy alcohol?”

Entry in progress -- BP “I mostly use my driver’s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive” is a related saying. X/Twitter 🇺🇸Jeff Markise🇺🇸 @MarkiseJeff If you…

July 15, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not on a government watchlist by now, you should be ashamed of yourself”

"If you're not on a government watchlist by now, you should be ashamed of yourself" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying is associated with the group…

August 5, 2012
Work/Businesses

“If you’re not paying for it, you are the product”

MetaFilter poster blue_beetle wrote on August 26, 2010: "If you are not paying for it, you're not the customer; you're the product being sold." This means that, while Google and…

June 21, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If you’re not subversive, you’re not relevant”

"If you're not subversive, you're not relevant" is a saying by Douglas Valentine, described on his website as "Author, Investigator, Journalist, Poet." "'If…

March 17, 2021
Work/Businesses

“If you’re not supposed to drink WD-40, why does it come with a straw?”

WD-40 is the trademark name of a water-displacing spray. A "smart straw" helps to spray the lubricant. "If they don't want you to drink the WD-40, why does it come with a…

September 30, 2020
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“If you’re not sweating at the gym, you ain’t doing it right”

Many people believe that if you work out, it should end with you dripping with sweat. "If you don't sweat....you ain't doin' it right" was posted on Twitter by Scott…

December 4, 2010
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“If you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes”

Humorist Robert Benchley (1889-1945) used this line in the film The Road to Utopia (1946): "Did you ever stop to think of one of those dog sled teams? The lead dog is the only one that ever…

March 16, 2016
Work/Businesses

“If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat. Just get on”

Sheryl Sandberg, an American technology executive with Google and then Facebook, spoke before the graduating class of Harvard Business School in May 2012. She said of her taking interview with…

October 25, 2017
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“If you’re on death row, request Olive Garden’s ‘Never Ending Pasta Bowl’ as a last meal”

A joke is that an inmate on death row should order a last meal from the Olive Garden restaurant. "If you were on death row, what would your last meal be? — Olive Garden's Never Ending…

April 11, 2022
Food/Drink

“If you’re paying $3 for a bottle of smart water, it isn’t working”

Entry in progress -- BP Wikipedia: Glaceau SmartwaterGlaceau Smartwater (stylized smartwater) is a brand of bottled water owned by Energy Brands. Introduced in 1996 in the United States, by 2016 it…

March 20, 2025
Exercise/Running/Health ClubsWork/Businesses

“If you’re persistent, you’ll get it. If you’re consistent, you’ll keep it. And if you’re grateful, you’ll attract more of it”

"If you're persistent, you'll get it. If you're consistent, you'll keep it. And if you're grateful, you'll attract more of it" is a motivational saying that…

March 20, 2025
Exercise/Running/Health ClubsWork/Businesses

“If you’re persistent, you’ll get it. If you’re consistent, you’ll keep it. If you’re grateful, you’ll attract more of it”

"If you're persistent, you'll get it. If you're consistent, you'll keep it. And if you're grateful, you'll attract more of it" is a motivational saying that…

July 12, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/InternetPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Work/Businesses

“If you’re petting a small dog in your lap, it’s important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know…”

A joke about zoom meetings was posted on X/Twitter by Matty on January 8, 2021: "If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know what…

October 19, 2014
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“If you’re planning to teach your children the value of a dollar, you’d better hurry up”

Parents often teach their children "the value of a dollar." ""Teach your children the value of a dollar and the value of saving in their early days" was cited in a…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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