“(I will gladly pay you Tuesday for) A hamburger today”
"I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" was spoken by the comic character J. Wellington Wimpy in E. C. Segar's 1930s comic strip "Thimble Theatre," featuring…
“(I’ll give you my gun when you take it) From my cold, dead hands”
"I will give up my gun when they pry my cold, dead fingers from around it" is a bumper sticker slogan supporting gun rights and dating from at least March 1972. "I'll give up my…
“(Liar, liar) Pants on fire”
The St. Petersburg (FL) Times originated in 2007 a website, Politifact.com, to check political facts. Statements are judged on a "Truth-O-Meter" with grades of True, Mostly True, Half…
“(Not for) All the tea in China”
"All the tea in China" means a great amount; the Chinese grow and consume large amounts of tea. "Not for all the tea in China" means that someone won't do something, even…
“(When you) Get a hunch, bet a bunch”
"(When you) Get a hunch, bet a bunch" has been a gambling saying since at least 1937. The saying was also adopted by the racetrack, with this ending: "Get a hunch and bet a bunch --…
“[Driving] Wife: You missed a right. Me: Thanks babe – you MRS right.”
"Missed a right (turn)" can sound like "Mr. Right." "While I was driving, her: Honey, you missed a right. Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs right" was posted on Reddit --…
“[X] walks into a bar…and lowers it” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "[X] walks into a bar...and lowers it" is a popular form of the joke, where…
“*drinks water with lemon* This is going to fix everything”
"*drinks water with lemon* This is going to fix everything" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The lemon slice/wedge that is added to water in some restaurants does…
“*gently puts my mental health in rice*”
"*gently puts my mental health in rice*" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A phone that fell into the toilet can possibly be revived after being put in uncooked rice, but…
“*Inventing celery* Damn I wish I could bite water with hair in it”
Celery, to many people, tastes like water with strings in it. "*Inventing celery* Damn I wish I could bite water with hair in it" was posted on Twitter by Knives McGee on December 6,…
“*seductively dabs eggnog behind ears*”
Who needs perfume? "Seductively dabs Cheeto's dust behind my ears while making eye contact" was posted on X/Twitter by Kayton Kimberly on September 17, 2017. "*seductively dabs…
“*seductively dabs gravy behind my ears*”
Who needs perfume? "Seductively dabs Cheeto's dust behind my ears while making eye contact" was posted on X/Twitter by Kayton Kimberly on September 17, 2017. "*seductively dabs…
“$1,000 isn’t a lot of money to have, but it is a lot to owe”
"Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own" (or "Being an adult is realizing that $1,000 is little money to have, but a lot to…
“$100 is basically an adult dollar”
"$20 is like an adult dollar" is a saying that has been printed on several images. $100 has also been called an adult dollar. That is, just a dollar doesn't have significant value…
“$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day. All eight books were recovered”
College textbooks are expensive. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 3, 2018: "$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day. All eight books were recovered."…
“$20 is like an adult dollar”
"$20 is like an adult dollar" is a saying that has been printed on several images. $100 has also been called an adult dollar. That is, just a dollar doesn't have significant value…
“1. Bel canto, 2. Can belto, 3. Can’t belto, 4. Can’t canto” (four stages of a soprano’s life)
New York-born Ira Siff created La Gran Scena Opera Co. in 1981, often featuring Siff's diva character, Madame Vera Galupe-Borszkh. In the recording "Forgeef Me My Enklish": the Wit…
“1% control the world. 4% are their puppets. 90% are asleep. 5% know and try to wake up the 90%”
"1% control the world. 4% are their puppets. 90% are asleep. 5% know and try to wake the 90%. The 1% use the 4% to prevent the 5% from waking up the 90%" is a saying that has been printed…
“10 out of 10 doctors agree with whoever is paying them”
"9/10 scientists will agree with whoever is paying them" was posted on Twitter by RRP on May 15, 2021. "10 out of 10 scientists agree with those who are paying them...." was…
“10 out of 10 scientists agree with whoever funded them”
"9/10 scientists will agree with whoever is paying them" was posted on Twitter by RRP on May 15, 2021. "10 out of 10 scientists agree with those who are paying them...." was…