The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled many vacations. "I told my suitcases that there will be no vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage" was posted on…
American stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) told a now classic joke about husbands and wives. "I told my wife a man is like good wine; he gets better with age. So she locked me…
American stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) told a now classic joke about husbands and wives. "I told my wife a man is like good wine; he gets better with age. So she locked me…
A winter joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on April 25, 2017: "I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got was icy stares." "Icy…
"I told myself I should stop drinking… But I’m not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was…
New York City has some tough neighborhoods. "I told the doctor I broke my arm/leg/nose in two places," a comedian sometimes says. "The doctor told me to quit going to those…
A steak isn't like a dog, but this was posted on Facebook by Gerald Easley on September 5, 2021: "I told the waitress my steak was bad. She picked it up, slapped it, put it down and said:…
"Ribeye" (a steak) shouldn't be confused with "rabbi," but there are jokes. "I told you to bring a couple of RIBEYES home for dinner" (shown on a comic…
"Piece of cake" means something easy. There's a pun: "I took a baking class. The final was a piece of cake." "Time for my Baking class mid term. Should be a piece of…
"#MaybeLaterWeCould take a dehumidifier into a sauna just to see which one wins" is a jocular sayin tat was posted on Twitter by Stephen Cookson on July 3, 2017. "I once took a…
There are several jokes about "demolitions class." "Aquinas must have a demolitions class but they only produce one hit wonders" was posted on Twitter by fk on November 5, 2013.…
A "pop quiz" usually doesn't involve soda pop, but there are jokes. X/Twitter LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85 Took a tour of the soda museum. Ended with a pop quiz.…
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative" is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts and bumper stickers. Tests for diseases that come…
A "barn dance" is a traditional dance, usually with traditional or folk music, sometimes (and probably originally) held in a barn. A popular barn dance joke is: "I took her to a barn…
People "drop out" of school -- but levitation school? "Just dropped out of levitation school" was posted on Twitter by donni saphire on April 7, 2015. "I took levitation…
When a car is getting "a service," it's not a religious service, but there are jokes. "There was this Manta Driver who wanted to take his car in for a service...Only problem was…
"Catastrophe" shouldn't be confused with "cat ass trophy," but there are jokes. "I thought a catastrophe was when the taxidermist stuffed the wrong end ofthat cougar…
One Coney Island amusement was a "Crazy House," featuring walls at strange angles. New York-based comedian Rodney Dangerfield, filling in for syndicated entertainment columnist Jack…
An Apple Watch is not the same as watching apples, but there are jokes. "The only 'Apple watch' I'll be doing this autumn is at an orchard #amirite" was posted on Twitter…
School loans can feel like years of poverty. "I’m so glad I went to school and studied hard so I could get a good job and pay off my student loans and 10 years later...still feel poor…