Many people take the batteries out of a carbon monoxide detector because of constant false beeping, but often the beeping isn't false. "I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide…
"I really don't see the point of fencing" is a fencing pun that was posted on Twitter on August 9, 2008. "I honestly don't see the point in the fencing" was posted on…
"Batteries not included" is a famous line that is associated with many products. "I (totally) understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely (ever) included in things…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home quarantines, where many people sat on a couch and got fat ("Rubenesque"). "Now that I have lived through a 'plague', I…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home quarantines, where many people sat on a couch and got fat ("Rubenesque"). "Now that I have lived through a 'plague', I…
To "make a hash" of something means to mess up, but what if one is making hash (a food)? "I know tinned corned beef is supposed to be 'easy' food, but I'm still making…
"I tried cooking with wine for the first time last night, after 5 glasses I forgot why I was in the kitchen!" is a jocular wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
"Follow your dreams" is a common saying that has been printed on many images. It usually doesn't refer to a follow on social media, but there are jokes. "I wanted to follow my…
A “candlelit dinner” usually has candles on the dinner table. The meal is usually not cooked with candles, but there are jokes about that. "Going out tonight for a candlelit dinner. Surely…
"I tried memeing less, but it made my day(s) memeingless" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Memeingless" is like "meaningless." "I tried memeing…
"I tried memeing less, but it made my day(s) memeingless" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Memeingless" is like "meaningless." "I tried memeing…
Some people suggest that citizens should "pay taxes with a smile," knowing that the citizens have patriotically performed a civic duty. Many taxpayers, however, do not enjoy paying taxes.…
Polo is played on horses; water polo is not. A popular joke is: "I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. 18 May 1968,…
"I tried starting a/my day without coffee once... My court date is pending" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Tried starting the day without coffee…
"I tried suing someone for stealing my basketball, but it got thrown out of court" -- a pun also on "basketball" court -- is a joke that was posted on Sickipedia and Twitter on…
To take something "with a grain of salt" is an expression meaning that one views it with skepticism. "I tried taking everything in life with a grain of salt, but after using up two…
"I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Hey , i tried to be normal once.. worst 15 seconds of my life…
A joke was posted by john on Twitter on May 22, 2017: Me: I'd like to buy a hot dog with ketchup, pleaseHim: Sorry, cash only A similar joke was reposted on Twitter on December 11, 2019.…
"Get a life!" is a popular expression. "I was denied life insurance, they said I had to get a life first" is a jocular saying that was posted on the newsgroup…
"I tired to catch some fog. I mist" is a pun that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, T-shirts, hats and bumper stickers. "Just tried to catch some fog. I…