“How many guitars does a guitarist need?”/“Just one more”
A guitar player often likes to have many guitars. "How many guitars does a guitar player need? Just one more" is a popular joke that has been printed on many images. "Q. How many…
“How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)
A "lightbulb joke" involving mystery writers is: Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a…
“How many ska bands does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (Joke)
Ska music has a tempo change, and fans often shout, "Pick it up! Pick it up!" This is the punchline of a popular ska joke. "q: how many ska bands does it take to screw in a…
“How many ska kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)
Ska music has a tempo change, and fans often shout, "Pick it up! Pick it up!" This is the punchline of a popular ska joke. "q: how many ska bands does it take to screw in a…
“How many ska musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)
Ska music has a tempo change, and fans often shout, "Pick it up! Pick it up!" This is the punchline of a popular ska joke. "q: how many ska bands does it take to screw in a…
“How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb?” (joke)
Singers have popular jokes on how many it takes to screw in a lightbulb: Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.A:…
“How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?”/“None. They can’t reach that high.”
An tenor version of the "lightbulb joke" is: Q: How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None. They can't reach that high. "How many tenors does it take to screw…
“How much to buy a singing ensemble?” (choir joke)
"A choir" sounds like the word "acquire." A joke was posted on Twitter by Terry F on February 27, 2018: ME: How much to buy a singing ensemble?PRODUCER: You mean a choir?ME:…
“Human statue street performers can be made to move by taking money out of the hat”
Many street performers stay still like statues; a hat is near them for donations. A joke was credited to an email by Chris Bird in February 2017: "Human statues can also be made to move by…
“I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but I never got the chants”
"Chants" sounds like "chance." "I've always wanted to be a Gregorian monk but I never really had the chants!" was posted on Twitter on August 14, 2017. "I…
“I am so proud of my Dyslexic daughter. She has managed to get in the school Brass Band. Playing the Toblerone”
"Trombone" (a musical instrument in the brass family) shouldn't be confused with "Toblerone" (a Swiss chocolate brand), but there are jokes. "I am so proud of my…
“I believe in censorship—I made a fortune out of it” (Mae West)
Brooklyn-born actress, singer, playwright, screenwriter, comedian, and sex symbol Mae West (1893-1980) experienced censorship, especially for her play Sex (1927). West was quoted in The Daily News…
“I believe Michael Jackson’s moonwalk was faked on a soundstage in Arizona”
Moon landing conspiracy theories have been popular, and there have been jokes that Michael Jackson's famous "Moonwalk" dance was also faked. "RT @stephanathome: I believe…
“I can always tell when they use fake dinosaurs in movies”
"I can always tell when they use fake dinosaurs in movies" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The dinosaurs in movies -- unlike the animals in movies -- are all…
“I can hold a note as long as the Chase Manhattan Bank” (singer Ethel Merman)
The actress Ethel Merman (1908-1984) in the musical play Girl Crazy (1930) sang the song "I Got Rhythm" (music by George Gershwin, lyrics by Ira Gershwin) and became an instant star.…
“I can play by ear, but it’s much easier if I use my hands” (music joke)
"Playing by ear" doesn't mean that a musician uses ears instead of hands, but there are jokes. "I do play by ear. But I play better with my hands" was posted on Twitter by…
“I can’t be the only one that pauses the music to see if the siren is in the song or behind me”
When a person is driving a vehicle and is listening to music, is the siren that is heard in the music or from another vehicle? "Me pausing the music to see the siren is in the Song or…
“I can’t believe the entire Siberian Orchestra is trans”
Trans-Siberian Orchestra (TSO) is an American rock band. "Trans-Siberian" usually means "across Siberia," but there are jokes where "trans" means…
“I can’t die! I’m booked!”
New York-born actor and comedian George Burns (1896-1996) wanted to live to at least age 100 and he constantly worked, without formally retiring. He long-planned to celebrate his 100th birthday…
“I can’t speak for anyone else, but I think I’m a terrible ventriloquist”
A ventriloquist speaks for someone else -- a "dummy." "I can't speak for anyone else, but I think my ventriloquist act is going well" was posted on Twitter by This Henry…