“How do you catch a drummer?”/“With a snare.”
A drummer riddle is: Q: How do you catch a drummer?A: With a snare. "How do you catch a drummer? a really tight snare! (ba-dun-shhh)" was posted on Twitter on March 31, 2010. "How do…
“How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?” (flute joke)
A flute riddle is: Q: How do you cover 12 holes with one hole? A: Take a flute and shove it up your ass. A form of the joke was posted on the newsgroup AFMC Group A Batch on March 29, 2012. Google…
“How do you fix a broken sousaphone?”/“With a tuba glue.”
"Tuba" sounds like "tube of." A riddle was printed in many newspapers in 1994: Q: What do you use to fix a broken tuba?A: A tuba glue! The riddle is often worded as this: Q: How…
“How do you fix a broken tuba?”/“With a tuba glue.”
"Tuba" sounds like "tube of." A riddle was printed in many newspapers in 1994: Q: What do you use to fix a broken tuba?A: A tuba glue! The riddle is often worded as this: Q: How…
“How do you get a guitarist to turn down the volume?” (joke)
Can guitar players read music? A popular joke is: Q. How do you get a guitar player to play softer?A. Give him a sheet of music. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Groups:…
“How do you get an actor off your front porch?” (joke)
Many jokes have been told about unemployed actors. One popular joke is: Q: How do you get an actor off your front porch?A: Pay him for the pizza. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“How do you get an actor to complain?”/“Give him a job.”
Actors aren't happy when they're out of work, and many still complain when they do find work. "Here's a joke: How do you make an actor bitch? Give him a job." was printed…
“How do you get an elephant out of the theater?”/“You can’t. It’s in his blood.”
It's often said that actors have acting in their blood. There's a joke: Q: How do you get an elephant out of the theater?A: You can't. It's in his blood. The joke has been cited…
“How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” (joke)
"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" is a question visitors often ask. Old-time New Yorkers can provide the punchline: "Practice!" The joke has been cited in print since 1955.…
“How do you keep a violin from getting stolen?”/“Put it in a viola case.”
A popular riddle about the viola is: Q: How do you keep a violin from getting stolen?A: Put it in a viola case. In other words, no one would steal a viola. THe joke has been cited in print since at…
“How do you know if there’s a lead singer outside your door?” (joke)
A classic joke is told about a singer (or a bad musician): Q: How do you know if there's a lead singer outside your door? A: You don't: She can't find the key and doesn't know…
“How do you know when a drummer is at your door?” (joke)
One popular drummer joke (among many) is: Q: How can you tell when there's a drummer at your door?A: The knocking speeds up. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. Google…
“How do you know when the stage is level?”/“Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.”
A popular joke about drummers is: Q: How do you know when the stage is level?A: When drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth. "How can you tell if the stage is level? If the…
“How do you make a bandstand?”/‘Take away their chairs.”
There's an old joke told about bandstands: Q: How do you make a bandstand?A: Take away their chairs. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. "How do you make a hot dog…
“How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?”/“Tell her a joke on Friday.”
A popular "dumb blonde" joke demonstrates how long it takes a blonde to process a joke. The St. Louis (MO) Post-Dispatch, on August 14, 1991, had this as just a day: Q: How do you make a…
“How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?”/“Tell her a joke on Wednesday.”
A popular "dumb blonde" joke demonstrates how long it takes a blonde to process a joke. The St. Louis (MO) Post-Dispatch, on August 14, 1991, had this as just a day: Q: How do you make a…
“How do you make a musician complain?”/“Give him a gig.”
Musicians are seldom satisfied. An old joke is: Q: How do you make a musician complain?A: Give him a gig. The joke has been cited in print since at least the 1990s. A variation was cited on Twitter…
“How do you make a tissue dance?”/“Put a little boogie in it.”
"Booger" and "boogie" aren't the same, but there's a popular riddle: Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: Put a little boogie in it. The joke has been cited in print…
“How do you make a violin sound like a viola?”/“Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.”
A viola joke is: Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on July 8, 1992. “How do you…
“How do you make a violin sound like a viola?”/“Sit in the back and don’t play.”
A joke about the viola is: Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Sit in the back and don't play. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.music.filk on April 10, 1992. “How do…