“I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once and the seat folded up”
"I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once and the seat folded up" is a jocular saying that has been cited in print since at least September 2000, when it was included in a joke list.…
“I hate to toot my own horn, but I’ve gotten pretty good at playing other people’s trumpets!”
"Toot one's own horn" (to promote one's self) is an idiomatic expression. It has little to do with actually playing horns, but there are jokes. "I don't like to toot…
“I Have a Little Dreidel” or “My Dreidel” (The Dreidel Song)
Entry in progress -- B.P.dreidel Wikipedia: I Have a Little Dreidel"I Have a Little Dreidel" (also known as "The Dreidel Song" or "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel") is a…
“I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer and I have a Czech one too”
Sound engineers often test by saying, "Check one-two." A joke has been printed on several images: "I have a Polish friend who is a roadie for a band. I have a Czech one too. A Czech…
“I just bought a film with 3.142 stars out of 5. It was a pi rated DVD”
There are many "pirated" DVDs, and the word is sometimes punned as "pi" rated. "RT: @FunnyJoker: I just bought a film with 3.142 stars out of 5. It was a pi rated DVD"…
“I just strangled a mime with a cordless phone”
Many people hate mimes. "I just strangled a mime with a cordless phone" was posted on Twitter by Jason Maybe on January 22, 2011. "I just strangled a mime.... With a cordless…
“I Left My Heart in San Francisco” (1954, 1962) (“Forgotten in Manhattan” lyric)
"I Left My Heart In San Francisco" was written in 1953 by George Cory (music) and Douglass Cross (lyrics) in Brooklyn, NY, when they had moved to New York City but were nostalgic for San…
“I like my country music at the volume where I can’t hear you complaining about it”
"I like my country music at the volume where I can’t hear you complaining about it" is a county music saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "I like my…
“I like to hold hands at the movies. Which always seems to startle strangers”
American comedian Tom Rhodes posted on Twitter on August 25, 2012: "I like to hold hands at the movies. Which always seems to startle strangers." The line was voted as one of the top…
“I listen to every genre of music. I’m polyjamorous”
"I listen to every genre of music. I'm polyjamorous" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The word "polyjamorous" is a portmanteau of the words…
“I Love New York” (2005)
"I Love New York" is on Madonna's Confessions on the Dance Floor (2005). Perhaps you can dance to it, but the lyrics will win her no awards.…
“I only saw Act I. The program said ‘Act II, one year later,’ and I couldn’t wait that long”
A theater program often says that Act II has the same location as Act I, or that Act II takes place a year later than Act I. There are jokes about both. "I only saw Act I. The program said…
“I only saw Act I. The program said ‘Act II, same as Act I,’ but I didn’t want to see it over again”
A theater program often says that Act II has the same location as Act I, or that Act II takes place a year later than Act I. There are jokes about both. "I only saw Act I. The program said…
“I play a little guitar, but mostly I play the ukulele”
"I play a little guitar" is a popular ukulele joke. The pun is that the meaning of "I play guitar a little" is changed when it's written as "I play a little…
“I play a little guitar” (ukulele joke)
"I play a little guitar" is a popular ukulele joke. The pun is that the meaning of "I play guitar a little" is changed when it's written as "I play a little…
“I run on caffeine, grease, loud music and cuss words”
"I run on coffee, chaos and cuss words" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. There have been many "I run on..." variations. "I run on #coffee and cuss…
“I saw an Irish dancing show today called Streamdance. It’s not quite as good as Riverdance, but then it is only a tributary act”
Are there any dance shows similar to Riverdance? "I saw an Irish dancing show today called 'Streamdance'. It's not quite as good as 'Riverdance', but then it is only a…
“I saw trombone players at the park today. Couldn’t swing and kept complaining about the slide”
A trombone riddle was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2012: Q: Why is it no fun to go the park with a trombone player? A: They can’t swing and complain about the slide. Forms of the…
“I think the real reason this generation is so angry is because their music sucks”
Many people -- especially older people -- believe that the music of the 1960s and 1970s is superior to the music of the 2000s. "Maybe the reason that this generation of young people is so…
“I thought I liked seeing movies, but turns out I like eating candy in a dark room”
Cara Weinberger posted on Twitter on December 10, 2019, a comment about movies that received over 180,000 likes: "I thought I liked seeing movies, but turns out I like eating candy in a dark…