“How do you know when a drummer is at your door?” (joke)
One popular drummer joke (among many) is: Q: How can you tell when there's a drummer at your door?A: The knocking speeds up. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. Google…
“How do you know when the stage is level?”/“Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.”
A popular joke about drummers is: Q: How do you know when the stage is level?A: When drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth. "How can you tell if the stage is level? If the…
“How do you make a bandstand?”/‘Take away their chairs.”
There's an old joke told about bandstands: Q: How do you make a bandstand?A: Take away their chairs. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. "How do you make a hot dog…
“How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?”/“Tell her a joke on Friday.”
A popular "dumb blonde" joke demonstrates how long it takes a blonde to process a joke. The St. Louis (MO) Post-Dispatch, on August 14, 1991, had this as just a day: Q: How do you make a…
“How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?”/“Tell her a joke on Wednesday.”
A popular "dumb blonde" joke demonstrates how long it takes a blonde to process a joke. The St. Louis (MO) Post-Dispatch, on August 14, 1991, had this as just a day: Q: How do you make a…
“How do you make a musician complain?”/“Give him a gig.”
Musicians are seldom satisfied. An old joke is: Q: How do you make a musician complain?A: Give him a gig. The joke has been cited in print since at least the 1990s. A variation was cited on Twitter…
“How do you make a tissue dance?”/“Put a little boogie in it.”
"Booger" and "boogie" aren't the same, but there's a popular riddle: Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: Put a little boogie in it. The joke has been cited in print…
“How do you make a violin sound like a viola?”/“Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.”
A viola joke is: Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on July 8, 1992. “How do you…
“How do you make a violin sound like a viola?”/“Sit in the back and don’t play.”
A joke about the viola is: Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Sit in the back and don't play. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.music.filk on April 10, 1992. “How do…
“How do you make an actor moan?”/“Give them a job.”
Actors aren't happy when they're out of work, and many still complain when they do find work. "Here's a joke: How do you make an actor bitch? Give him a job." was printed…
“How do you protect a valuable instrument?”/“Hide it in an accordion case.”
An accordion riddle is: Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?A: Hide it in an accordion case. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 4 September 1999, Great Falls (MT)…
“How do you tune a fish?”/“With its scales.”
A tuna fish riddle is: Q: How do you tune a (tuna) fish?A: With its scales. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1916. “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish” is a related…
“How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars?”/“By starting out with two million dollars.
A jazz musician riddle has been cited in print since at least 1996: Q: How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars? A: Give him ten million and wait a couple of months. "How does a…
“How is a drum solo like a sneeze?” (ioke)
There have been make jokes about drummers. A popular riddle is: Q: How is a drum solo like a sneeze?A: You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it. The joke has been…
“How late does the band play?” (joke)
Drummers often play to their own beat. A popular joke involves a bar customer who is listening to a jazz band: BAR CUSTOMER (to bartender): Hey buddy, how late does the band play?BARTENDER: Oh,…
“How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?”/“Nobody knows.”
The classic musical instrument joke is: Q: How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?A: Nobody knows. It's never been done. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998, when it…
“How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
A popular actor "light bulb" joke was told by American actor Matthew Broderick in 1985: Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?A: One hundred. One to do it, and 99 to say…
“How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb?” (joke)
Singers have popular jokes on how many it takes to screw in a lightbulb: Q: How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they can't get up that high. The joke has been cited…
“How many dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb?”/“Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight!”
A popular dancer "light bulb" riddle is: Q: How many dance instructors dies it take to change a light bulb?A: Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight! The joke has been cited in print since at…
“How many guitars does a guitar player need?”/“Just one more.”
A guitar player often likes to have many guitars. "How many guitars does a guitar player need? Just one more" is a popular joke that has been printed on many images. "Q. How many…