“How do you make an actor moan?”/“Give them a job.”
Actors aren't happy when they're out of work, and many still complain when they do find work. "Here's a joke: How do you make an actor bitch? Give him a job." was printed…
“How do you protect a valuable instrument?”/“Hide it in an accordion case.”
An accordion riddle is: Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?A: Hide it in an accordion case. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 4 September 1999, Great Falls (MT)…
“How do you tune a fish?”/“With its scales.”
A tuna fish riddle is: Q: How do you tune a (tuna) fish?A: With its scales. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1916. “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish” is a related…
“How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars?”/“By starting out with two million dollars.
A jazz musician riddle has been cited in print since at least 1996: Q: How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars? A: Give him ten million and wait a couple of months. "How does a…
“How is a drum solo like a sneeze?” (ioke)
There have been make jokes about drummers. A popular riddle is: Q: How is a drum solo like a sneeze?A: You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it. The joke has been…
“How late does the band play?” (joke)
Drummers often play to their own beat. A popular joke involves a bar customer who is listening to a jazz band: BAR CUSTOMER (to bartender): Hey buddy, how late does the band play?BARTENDER: Oh,…
“How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?”/“Nobody knows.”
The classic musical instrument joke is: Q: How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?A: Nobody knows. It's never been done. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998, when it…
“How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
A popular actor "light bulb" joke was told by American actor Matthew Broderick in 1985: Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?A: One hundred. One to do it, and 99 to say…
“How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb?” (joke)
Singers have popular jokes on how many it takes to screw in a lightbulb: Q: How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they can't get up that high. The joke has been cited…
“How many dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb?”/“Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight!”
A popular dancer "light bulb" riddle is: Q: How many dance instructors dies it take to change a light bulb?A: Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight! The joke has been cited in print since at…
“How many guitars does a guitar player need?”/“Just one more.”
A guitar player often likes to have many guitars. "How many guitars does a guitar player need? Just one more" is a popular joke that has been printed on many images. "Q. How many…
“How many guitars does a guitarist need?”/“Just one more”
A guitar player often likes to have many guitars. "How many guitars does a guitar player need? Just one more" is a popular joke that has been printed on many images. "Q. How many…
“How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)
A "lightbulb joke" involving mystery writers is: Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a…
“How many ska bands does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (Joke)
Ska music has a tempo change, and fans often shout, "Pick it up! Pick it up!" This is the punchline of a popular ska joke. "q: how many ska bands does it take to screw in a…
“How many ska kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)
Ska music has a tempo change, and fans often shout, "Pick it up! Pick it up!" This is the punchline of a popular ska joke. "q: how many ska bands does it take to screw in a…
“How many ska musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (joke)
Ska music has a tempo change, and fans often shout, "Pick it up! Pick it up!" This is the punchline of a popular ska joke. "q: how many ska bands does it take to screw in a…
“How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb?” (joke)
Singers have popular jokes on how many it takes to screw in a lightbulb: Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.A:…
“How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?”/“None. They can’t reach that high.”
An tenor version of the "lightbulb joke" is: Q: How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None. They can't reach that high. "How many tenors does it take to screw…
“How much to buy a singing ensemble?” (choir joke)
"A choir" sounds like the word "acquire." A joke was posted on Twitter by Terry F on February 27, 2018: ME: How much to buy a singing ensemble?PRODUCER: You mean a choir?ME:…
“Human statue street performers can be made to move by taking money out of the hat”
Many street performers stay still like statues; a hat is near them for donations. A joke was credited to an email by Chris Bird in February 2017: "Human statues can also be made to move by…