“I don’t always tell dad jokes. But when I do, he laughs”
There's a difference between "telling dad" jokes and telling "dad jokes." The former is told to a father, while the latter is usually told by a father. A joke was posted on…
“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day”
A jocular saying about Valentine's Day has been printed on many images: "I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the…
“I found a way to get rid of some unwanted junk during the holidays. Put it in an Amazon box. Leave it on the porch”
"Need to get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays? Put it in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch" is a jocular saying that has been printed on may images. That is, people…
“I got a sweater for Christmas, but I really wanted a screamer or a moaner”
"I got a sweater for Christmas, but I really wanted a screamer or a moaner" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The line was posted to the newsgroup…
“I just saved a bunch of money on Valentine’s Day by switching to single”
"I just saved a bunch of money (on Valentine's Day) by switching to single" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I just saved a bunch of money on…
“I know how to do anything. I’m a mom”
"I know how to do anything. I'm a mom" is a popular Mother's Day quotation that has been printed on many images. American actress and comedian Roseanne Barr said it on the…
“I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes”
Many people put up Christmas decorations in stages. "I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes" was…
“I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with snacks and stare at the boxes”
Many people put up Christmas decorations in stages. "I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes" was…
“I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, ‘moist’”
The word "moist" makes some people uncomfortable. This was posted on X/Twitter by Rodney Lacroix on November 20, 2023: "I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to…
“I tell dad jokes, but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa”
"Faux pas" is sometimes punned as "faux pa." The pun is especially frequent on Father's Day. "A friend tried to tell me recently that I'm not allowed to make dad…
“I think the holidays are a wonderful time for drinking”
Two related drinking sayings have been printed on many images: "I think Christmas is a wonderful time for drinking. And also after and before Christmas plus all the other days.""I…
“I was gonna start dieting, but Halloween is coming up, then Thanksgiving and Christmas candy…”
Holidays can interfere with dieting. "I was gonna start dieting, but Halloween is coming up, then Thanksgiving and Christmas candy. Before you know it, it's BBQ season again and I'm…
“I-rish you a very nice place to live, I-rish God’s greatest gifts he’ll give…”
An Irish poem (popular on St. Patrick's Day) is: "I-rish you a very nice place to live,I-rish God's greatest gifts he'll give.I-rish you health, and wealth, and more--I-rish…
“I’m not saying I’m old…but when I was in school we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas”
"I'm not saying I'm old...but when I was in school we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Making ashtrays was a popular…
“I’m only a morning person on December 25th”
"I'm only a morning person on December 25th" is a Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. People like to wake up early and check out their Christmas presents.…
“I’m so good Santa came twice”
"I'm so good Santa came twice" is a jocular Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is perhaps NSFW. “@NilamL: last year i was so good, santa came…
“I’ve always wondered why there is a day dedicated to fools. I see fools every day and frankly, I’m sick of it”
"I've always wondered why there is a day dedicated to fools. I see fools every day and frankly, I'm sick of it" is a saying that has been printed on ecards. "RT @MissHMQ:…
“I’ve got the same Easter plans as Jesus. Disappear on Friday, show up on Monday”
An Easter joke is: Wife: What are your plans for Easter?Husband: Same as Jesus..I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday. The joke was posted on Twitter by MAHLEKZA on April 3, 2015.…
“I’ll be home for Christmas. Been here all year anyway. #2020”
"I'll Be Home for Christmas" (1943) is a Christmas song written by the lyricist Kim Gannon and composer Walter Kent and recorded by Bing Crosby. It referred to soldiers in World War…
“If couples celebrate Valentine’s Day, what do single men celebrate?”/“Palm Sunday.”
A not-safe-for-work joke is told about Valentine's Day. "If Valentines Day is for lovers... what day is for single men... Palm Sunday" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…