"I got a sweater for Christmas, but I really wanted…

“I got a sweater for Christmas, but I really wanted a screamer or a moaner” is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The line was posted to the newsgroup microsoft.public.games.zone.asherons_call on February 23, 2000.

“Squirter” is often added. “I got a sweater for christmas. I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner or even a squirter” was posted on Twitter on October 13, 2011.

Google Groups: microsoft.public.games.zone.asherons_call
Friends Chat or Gildes
Vasagi
2/23/00
(...)
“I got a sweater for christmas. What I wanted was a screamer or a moaner.”

11 June 2001, The Herald (Glasgow, Scotland), “Diary” by Tom Shields and Ken Smith, pg. 12:
Cold sweat It’s not quite a quip in the Chic Murray class, but on a Monday morning what do you expect: “I got a sweater for Christmas . . . I wanted a screamer or a moaner.”

Google Groups: aus.jokes
Sweater Screamer Moaner…
J a s e
6/12/01
(...)
“I got a sweater for Christmas… I wanted a screamer or a moaner.”

9 December 2002, Philadelphia (PA) Daily News, “Byko!” by Syd Bykofsky, pg. 39, col. 3:
The last word
Last year I got a sweater for Christmas.
I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
—Via the Internet

Google Books
Laugh Out Loud:
A Selection of the Finest Internet Humour, Anecdotes and Wisdom
By Vivienne Smithdorf and Vanessa Wilson
Sandton, South Africa: Vsquared
2004
Pg. 86:
I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

Twitter
alphanitrate
‏@alphanitrate
Hey, I got a sweater for christmas to - i really wanted a moaner.
3:39 PM - 27 Dec 2007

Twitter
Bill Tanner
‏@tanner
I got a sweater for Christmas…I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
12:26 PM - 29 Jan 2008

Google Books
Snark! the Herald Angels Sing:
Sarcasm, Bitterness and the Holiday Season
By Lawrence Dorfman
New York, NY: Skyhorse Publishing
2011
Pg. 28:
I got a sweater for Christmas ... I wanted a screamer or a moaner.

Twitter
McKee
‏@McKee___
“@TheFunnySexist: I got a sweater for Christmas last year. I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.” or a squirter
11:33 PM - 13 Oct 2011

Twitter
Patrick McPartland
‏@IRpadawan
I got a sweater for christmas. I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner or even a squirter
5:39 AM - 25 Dec 2011

Google Books
The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said
Selected and compiled by Robert Byrne
New York, NY: Touchstone
2012
Pg. ?:
54
I got a sweater for Christmas. I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
—Unknown

Twitter
im here all week
‏@wayne_robb
🌲For christmas last year i got a sweater.
This year i would prefer a moaner or a squirter.🌲
12:22 PM - 8 Dec 2016