“If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”
"If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" means that "mama" takes care of the whole household; if she's not feeling well, the whole family could suffer. "If…
“If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the Lamb of God…” (joke)
The Gospel of John calls Jesus the "Lamb of God." This is not connected to the nursery rhyme "Mary Had a Little Lamb," but there are jokes. "'Mary had a little lamb is…
“If medicine worked, you wouldn’t need to refill your prescription”
"If medicine worked, you wouldn't need to refill your prescription" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that the pharmaceutical industry doesn't…
“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament”
"If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament" is a popular statement in support of abortion. Activists Florynce Kennedy and Gloria Steinem were in a taxicab (Steinem recalls…
“If more government is the answer, then it was a really stupid question”
"If government is the answer, it was a stupid question" is an anti-government saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "If more government is the answer,…
“If nature didn’t make it, don’t take it”
"If nature didn't make it, don't take it" is a health saying that has beenprinted on many images. The saying is usually attributed to Alfredo Darrington Bowman (1933-2016), also…
“If nature doesn’t make it, don’t take it”
"If nature didn't make it, don't take it" is a health saying that has beenprinted on many images. The saying is usually attributed to Alfredo Darrington Bowman (1933-2016), also…
“If nature don’t make it, don’t take it”
"If nature didn't make it, don't take it" is a health saying that has beenprinted on many images. The saying is usually attributed to Alfredo Darrington Bowman (1933-2016), also…
“If nominated I will not accept, and if elected I will not serve”
"If nominated I will not accept/run, (and) if elected I will not serve" is the famous "Sherman statement" on declining to run for political office, but William Tecumseh Sherman…
“If not us, who? If not now, when?”
"If not us, who? If not now, when?" This quotation is similar to what Rabbi Hillel the Elder wrote in the Pirkay Avot: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for…
“If only closed minds came with closed mouths”
"If only closed minds came with closed mouths" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "IF ONLY CLOSED MINDS CAME WITH CLOSED MOUTHS," credited to Nicole Aitoro of New…
“If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was bad…”
"Taxation without representation is tyranny" was a slogan of the American Revolution. A modern version of the saying is: "If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was…
“If people can’t be trusted to govern themselves, how can they be trusted to govern others?”
"Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he then be trusted with the government of others?" was said by Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) at his…
“If people cannot be trusted to govern themselves, how can they be trusted to govern other people?”
"Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he then be trusted with the government of others?" was said by Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) at his…
“If police are really here to protect us, the entire government would be in prison”
"If police are really here to protect us, the entire government would be in prison" (or "If the police were here to protect us, the entire government would be arrested") is a…
“If printing money would end poverty, printing diplomas would end stupidity”
"Pensar que imprimiendo billetes se acaba con la pobreza es como pensar que imprimiendo diplomas se acaba con la ignorancia" ("Thinking that printing banknotes ends poverty is like…
“If prisoners took their own mug shots, they would be called ‘cellfies’”
"Do prisoners take cellfies?" was posted on Twitter by Michael Willits on August 27, 2013. "Cellfie" (cell + selfie) is a portmanteau word. "party-in-the-morgue:…
“If pro and con are opposites, is Congress the opposite of progress?”
A popular pro/con joke goes: "If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con,' what's the opposite of progress?" The joke about Congress dates to at least 1880, when it was…
“If pro is the opposite of con, then the opposite of the Constitution is prostitution”
A popular pro/con joke goes: "If pro is the opposite of con, then the opposite of the Constitution is prostitution." "The opposite of Constitution is Prostitution" was cited in…
“If regular guns are firearms, squirt guns should be called waterarms”
"If regular guns are firearms, squirt guns should be called waterarms" was posted on Twitter by [Cat face]ri-Warui on October 24, 2017. "If guns are firearms, then are squirt guns…