"If I (a politician) could cure cancer, you'd (the press would) say that I put doctors out of work" is a saying about someone who can never get honest press coverage, no matter what…
Jesus walking on water is recorded in three of the Gospels of the New Testament. Walking on water (a miracle) is often compared to swimming (a normal activity). A joke circulated in 1945 that…
Mitochondrion ("mitochondria" is the plural) is known as the powerhouse of the cell. There have been several jokes about "prison" cells. "If I ever go to jail I'm gna…
An old political joke told by Democrats such as Lyndon Johnson, Walter Mondale and Ted Kennedy has a person needing a heart transplant being offered three different hearts -- the heart of someone…
"If I had a dollar for every time socialism worked, I would have $0. Coincidentally if it did work, I would also have $0" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If I had…
"If I had to choose between freedom of speech and my gun, I'd choose my gun. Then I'd say what I want because I have a gun" is a Bill of Rights saying that has been printed on…
"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…
"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…
"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…
"If I wanted the government in my womb, I'd fuck a Senator" is a women's rights saying that has been printed on many images. "If I wanted the government in my womb,…
Is there a judgmental judge named Judge Mental? "Or I'll change my last name to 'Mental' so when I get my own show they'll say; 'all rise for Judge Mental'"…
The Serenity Prayer is: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." "If I'm not…
“Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result” is an old saying. Some people have used that definition to explain voting. "If insanity is doing the same thing again…
Emil Mazey (1913-1983), the secretary-treasurer of the United Automobile Workers for 33 years, said at a labor meeting in 1946: "I can't prove you are a Communist. But when I see a bird…
In 1986, President Ronald Reagan said: "Back then (before 1981 -- ed.), government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps…
Having a court date isn't really "dating," but a joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on October 25, 2018: "If it weren't for court dates, I wouldn't be dating at…
"If it worked and was safe, you wouldn’t need to mandate, force, deceive or threaten those who question it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. the saying usually refers…
"If it's not voluntary, it's tyranny" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "If it's not voluntary, it's tyranny.…
What do state schools teach? "If trade schools teach trades, and religious schools teach religion, then what do state schools teach?" was posted on Facebook by Justin Damask on May 23,…
"(Vote Conservative.) If liberalism worked, you'd still be in California" is a saying (popular in places such as Arizona, Idaho and Texas) that has been printed on many images.…