“What is whisky?”/“Wussian woulette.”
A whiskey joke is: Q: What is whiskey?A: Wussian woulette. The same person both asks and answers the question, and the letter "w" replaces the letter "r." The person was…
“What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?”/“A catameringue.”
A catamaran doesn't contain any meringue, but there's a riddle: Q: What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?A: A catameringue. The "catameringue" pun has been…
“What keeps Gouda up at night?”/“The Muenster under the bed.”
Muenster cheese has several "monster" puns. Gouda cheese has several "good" puns. "There's a muenster under my bed, it doesn't look very Gouda" was posted on…
“What key has legs and can’t open doors?”/“A turkey.”
A popular Thanksgiving turkey riddle is: Q: What key has legs and can't open doors?A: A turkey. Te riddle has been cited in print since at least 1998. “What’s the key to a great…
“What kind of apple has a short temper?”/“A crab apple.”
Do crab apples really crabby? A pun on the "crab apple" name is: Q: What kind of apple has a short temper?A: A crab apple. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google…
“What kind of bagel can fly?”/“A plain bagel.”
There's a popular bagel pun: Q: What kind of bagel can fly?A: A plain (plane) bagel. Peter Flom tweeted the joke on September 25, 2010, explaining tha it was "a joke my kid made up when…
“What kind of beans don’t grow in a garden?”/“Jelly beans.”
A bean riddle is: Q: What kind of beans don't grow in a garden?A: Jelly beans. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1958 and has been popular at Easter. 4 June 1958, San Diego…
“What kind of bee gives milk?”/“A boobie.”
A milk joke is: Q: What kind of bee gives milk?A: A boobee (boobie). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1997. Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokesthe beeJ. Johnson 4/14/97(...)Reminds me…
“What kind of bee hovers over a bowl of alphabet soup?”/“A spelling bee.”
Alphabet soup doesn't help with spelling bees, but there are jokes about pairing the two. There are "fly in my soup" and "bee/B in my soup" jokes about alphabet soup as…
“What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?”/“Shortbread.”
A popular Christmas riddle about elves is: Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?A: Shortbread. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1998. “Shortbread—They’re not…
“What kind of bread do you eat on Wednesday?”/“Hump-ernickel.”
Wednesday is often called hump day." A riddle is: Q: What kind of bread do you eat on Wednesday? A: Hump-ernickel. "Hump-ernickel" is a joke on "pumpernickel" bread. The…
“What kind of bunny can’t hop?”/“A chocolate one.”
An Easter bunny riddle is: Q: What kind of bunny can't hop?A: A chocolate one. The joke was posted on Twitter on March 29, 2013. TwitterEaster Joke @easterjokeEaster Jokes 2013 - Q: What…
“What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?”/“A stomach cake.”
"the "stomach cake" (for "stomach ache") pun is an old one. "TO MAKE A STOMACH CAKE. -- Use plenty of unripe fruit" was cited in the Melbourne (Australia) Punch…
“What kind of candy do zombies refuse to eat?”/“Life Savers.”
A popular Halloween zombie riddle is: Q: What kind of candy do zombies refuse to eat?A: Life Savers. The ghost joke "What kind of candy won’t a ghost ever touch? Lifesavers" was posted…
“What kind of car does an egg drive?”/“A Yolkswagon.”
A "Yolkswagon" or "Yolkswagen" (yolk + Volkswagen) is a portmanteau that has been used in several jokes. A riddle was printed in Boys' Life on November 1984: Q: What kind…
“What kind of cheese do you use to disguise a small horse?”/“Mascarpone.”
One popular cheese joke is: Q: What cheese do you use to disguise a small horse?A: Mascarpone. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2009. Wikipedia: MascarponeMascarpone…
“What kind of cheese has been interrogated?”/“Grilled cheese.”
Someone who goes through interrogation is often said to have been "grilled." There are many "grilled" cheese jokes. "Grilled Cheese: Cheese under interrogation by the…
“What kind of coffee do cops drink?”/“Coppicino.”
"Coppuccino" (cop + cappuccino) is a portmanteau word that was posted on Twitter on May 15, 2013. "What did the cop get from Starbucks? A coppuccino" was posted on Twitter on…
“What kind of coffee does a vampire drink?”/“De-coffinated.”
A popular vampire riddle is: Q: What kind of coffee does a vampire drink?A: Decoffinated. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1995. 4 June 1995, The Sun-Herald (Sydney, Australia), pg.…
“What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?”/“Sanka.”
The RMS Titanic sank on April 15, 2012, on its maiden voyage from Southampton to New York City. A Titanic joke is: Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?A: Sanka. The joke has been cited…