“You told me the tacos were Keto.”/“I said these are taquitos.”
A keto diet should not be confused with a taquito diet, but there are jokes. A popular meme shows one saying, "You told me the tacos were Keto," with the reply, "I said these are…
“You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol”
"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science" is a jocular alcohol saying that has been printed on many images. The line was…
“You wanna pizza me?”
"You wanna pizza me?" (a pizza version of "Do you want a piece of me?" -- that is, the start of an argument or a fight) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“You want men to stop staring at your boobs? Eat a banana”
"You want men to stop staring at your boobs? Eat a banana" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eating a banana often represents the sex act of fellatio. "how to…
“You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and taking ibuprofen…”
"If you want to know how old you really feel, stop drinking coffee and taking ibuprofen... and then wait" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "you want to know how…
“You wash dishes, and two weeks later you have to do it again”
Brooklyn-born comedian Joan Rivers (1933-2014) hated housework. She said in 1966: "You wash dishes, make the beds, dust -- and then two weeks later you have to do it all over again."…
“You were born a cow, but now you are a fish” (joke)
A popular Catholic joke is told about a person who eats meat on Friday, converts to Catholicism, but then still eats meat on Friday. He justifies this by baptizing his food, saying, "You were…
“You: ‘Curly fries.’ Me, an intellectual: ‘Rotatoes’”
Many people believe that "curly fries" should be called "rotatoes" (rotate + potatoes). "Curly fries should be called 'rotatoes'" was posted on Twitter by…
“You’d think the crescent roll’s packages would have a warning like: May blow your hand off if opened correctly”
Crescent roll packaging can open with a pop. This was posted on X/Twitter by VoiceOfReason on April 9, 2002: "You'd think the crescent roll's packages would have a warning like: May…
“You’re brew-tiful” (brew + beautiful)
"You're brew-tiful" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Brewtiful" meaning "brewery" and "beautiful" has been cited in…
“You’re never too old to beg for free candy” (Halloween saying)
Are some people to old to go out trick-or-treating on Halloween? "You're never too old to beg for free candy" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on”
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on" is a jocular line that dates to at least the early 1800s. "No man could be called drunk, so long as he could…
“You’re not lactose intolerant. You’re just not a baby cow”
"You're not lactose intolerant. You're just not a baby cow" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. That is, only baby cows should be drinking a cow's milk.…
“You’re only as strong as the drinks you mix, the tables you dance on & the friends you party with”
"You're only as strong as the drinks you mix, the tables you dance on and the friends you party/roll with" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Your only as strong…
“You’re redneck if entertainment is a bug zapper and a six-pack”
A popular redneck joke is: "You might be a redneck if......you consider a six-pack and a bug zapper to be quality entertainment." American stand-up comedian Jeff Foxworthy wrote a book of…
“You’re telling me a chicken fried this rice?” (chicken fried rice joke)
The Chinese restaurant dish of "chicken fried rice" is fried rice with chicken; it is not rice that is fried by a chicken. "There's no way in hell a chicken fried this…
“You’re telling me a crab ran this goon?”
"You're telling me a crab ran this goon?" (or "So you're telling me a crab ran this goon?") is a joke on "crab rangoon" that has been printed on many images.…
“You’re telling me a whore made these derves?”
"Hors d'oeuvres" is difficult for many Americans to spell. The term has nothing to do with whores, but there are jokes. "First the simple whore derves" was printed in The…
“You’re the apple to my pie”
The "apple of my eye" is an old idiom. "You're the apple to my pie" is another apple saying that has been printed on many images. "You’re the apple in my pie"…
“You’re the cheese to my macaroni”
Macaroni and cheese is a popular food combination. The movie Juno (2007), written by Diabo Cody (who won an Academy Award for her original screenplay), contained this line: "Juno MacGuff: As…