“You might as well just pronounce the ‘L’ in ‘salmon.’ Nothing really matters anymore”
"Salmon" has a silent letter "L." "You might as well go ahead and pronounce the 'L' in 'salmon.' Nothing matters anymore" was posted on Twitter by…
“You might be a hillbilly if you think ‘lol’ means low on liquor”
"The Drinker's Definition of LOL: Low On Liquor" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The term "LOL" usually means "laughing out loud."…
“You might be a redneck if you think ‘lol’ means low on liquor”
"The Drinker's Definition of LOL: Low On Liquor" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The term "LOL" usually means "laughing out loud."…
“You miss 100 percent of the espresso shots you don’t take”
"You miss 100 percent of the espresso shots you don't take" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” is an ice…
“You must have great pots and pans” (joke)
A popular photography joke has a photographer invited to a dinner, where he shows some photographs. "I love these photographs!" the host says. "You must have a great camera."…
“You never hear skinny people saying, ‘I’m just small boned’”
Fat people sometimes say, "I'm not fat! I'm big boned!" Do skinny people say the opposite? "I'm really not all that skinny. I'm just small-boned" was posted…
“You never know how strong you are until you’re home alone and have to open your own pickles”
Pickle jars are notoriously difficult to open. "You never know how strong you are.... until you're home alone and have to open your own pickles" was cited on Twitter on October 6,…
“You never really hear about anyone stress-eating vegetables”
Many people who are streesed eat a lot of junk food, such as cookies or ice cream. "Erica" posted a popular tweet on December 19, 2016: "You never really hear about anyone…
“You only live once. Lick the bowl”
"You only love once. Lick the bowl" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images. People often lick the spoon, but licking the bowl -- that's adventurous! "You…
“You ordered pepper only” (pepperoni pizza joke)
A popular joke involves an American businessman who is in Japan and orders delivery of a pepperoni pizza. He receives something else. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2000. Google…
“You people who have just one glass of wine… What’s that like?”
"You people who have just one glass of wine... What's that like?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "People who casually have one glass of wine with…
“You say alcoholism, I say liver crossfit”
"You say alcoholism, I say liver crossfit" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. CrossFit is a branded fitness regimen; the speaker's drinking will put…
“You say drunk and disorderly. I say spirited and spontaneous”
"You say drunk and disorderly. I say spirited and spontaneous" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "You say drunk and disorderly I say spirited and…
“You say potato, I say vodka”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Will & GraceWill & Grace is an American sitcom created by Max Mutchnick and David Kohan about the relationship between best friends Will Truman (Eric…
“You should be able to redeem brownie points for actual brownies”
"Brownie points" usually cannot be collected to earn brownies (a food), but many people wish that this would be the definition of the term. "FWIW, my kids were bitterly disappointed…
“You should eat a waffle! You can’t be sad if you eat a waffle!”
"You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!" has been printed on GIFs. American author Lauren Mracle wrote in ttfn (2006), a young-adult novel about instant…
“You spoiled brats with your fancy Cheerios flavors. When I was a kid, Cheerios had one flavor, and that flavor was paper”
Cheerios cereal now comes in many flavors. This was posted on X/Twitter by RunwayDan on June 1, 2014, and has been printed on many images: "You spoiled brats with your fancy Cheerios flavors.…
“You spoiled brats with your fancy Cheerios flavors. When we were kids Cheerios had one flavor and that flavor was paper”
Cheerios cereal now comes in many flavors. This was posted on X/Twitter by RunwayDan on June 1, 2014, and has been printed on many images: "You spoiled brats with your fancy Cheerios flavors.…
“You throw away the outside and keep the inside, then you eat the outside and throw away the inside”
"You throw away my outside, you cook my inside. Then you eat my outside and you throw away my inside. What am I?" is a riddle that has been printed in many images. The answer is…
“You told me the tacos were Keto.”/“I said these are taquitos.”
A keto diet should not be confused with a taquito diet, but there are jokes. A popular meme shows one saying, "You told me the tacos were Keto," with the reply, "I said these are…