“My mating call is the sound of a pizza box being opened”
The mating call of many people is the sound of food being served. "My mating call is the sound of the microwave beeping" was posted on X/Twitter by Róisín on June 8, 2012."my…
“My mating call is the sound of frying bacon”
The mating call of many people is the sound of food being served. "My mating call is the sound of the microwave beeping" was posted on X/Twitter by Róisín on June 8, 2012."my…
“My mating call is the sound of my microwave beeping”
The mating call of many people is the sound of food being served. "My mating call is the sound of the microwave beeping" was posted on X/Twitter by Róisín on June 8, 2012."my…
“My mating call is the sound of sizzling bacon”
The mating call of many people is the sound of food being served. "My mating call is the sound of the microwave beeping" was posted on X/Twitter by Róisín on June 8, 2012."my…
“My mayonnaise is trying kill me or so my sauces tell me”
"It's national pasta day.....so my sauces tell me..." -- a pun on "my sources tell me" -- was posted on Twitter on January 24, 2013. "Apparenty, the Heinz ketchup has…
“My milk is about to die. It’s at 2%”
"2% milk" refers to the fat content of the milk. It's not like a phone at 2% power, but there are jokes. "I think I need new WiFi my milk is only at 2% and I got it a week ago.…
“My mom used to cut the edges of my jelly sandwiches. This is why I have crust issues”
"Why I have trust issues" shouldn't be confused with "why I have crust issues," but there are food jokes. "My mom used to cut the edges of my jelly sandwiches. This is…
“My mom worked 10 hours a day to put food on the table. Great mom, but a really slow cook”
"My father worked ten hours a day to put food on the table. Great dad, very slow cook" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Mark Simmons on February 13, 2020. The joke is that…
“My morning coffee contains all of my people skills”
"My morning coffee contains all of my people skills" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Please don't disturb me while I'm having my coffee. Right…
“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow”
American comedian Rita Rudner said of Thanksgiving: "My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow." It's not known when Rudner first said it, but…
“My mother served nothing but leftovers; the original meal has never been found”
Calvin Trillin -- frequently described as "America's funniest food writer" -- is often credited with this joke about leftovers: "The most remarkable thing about my mother is…
“My mother taught me about the science of osmosis—‘Shut your mouth and eat your supper!’”
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" is what a parent might say to a child -- although food can't get in the mouth if it's shut. "Some of the funniest memories came from…
“My muffin top is now a pound cake”
"My muffin top is now a pound cake" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker has gone from fat in the middle (muffin top) to fat all around (pound cake).…
“My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier”
Many people make New Year's resolutions to lose weight, but losing weight can be difficult. "My New Year's Resolution is too either lose weight or start hanging out with fat people…
“My New Year’s resolution was to enjoy more coffee… so far, so good!”
"My New Year's resolution was to enjoy more coffee... so far, so good!" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "My New Year's resolution was to enjoy more…
“My pee smells like coffee”
"My pee smells like coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on an ecard by Someecards. "In the restroom. My pee smells like coffee. TMI?" was posted on Twitter by Alex…
“My plan for today? Same as always. Drink coffee and be sexy”
"My plan for today? Same as always. Drink coffee and be sexy" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "My plan for the day? Same as always: Drink COFFEE and be…
“My problem is that I think garlic powder goes on everything”
"My problem is that I think garlic powder goes on everything" (or "My problem is that I think onion and garlic powder goes on everything") is a food saying that has been printed…
“My problem is that I think onion and garlic powder goes on everything”
"My problem is that I think garlic powder goes on everything" (or "My problem is that I think onion and garlic powder goes on everything") is a food saying that has been printed…
“My problem with meal prep is that I don’t wanna eat the same thing by Wednesday”
Many people prepare meals ("meal prep") several days in advance. However, they sometimes want to eat it all right away. Also, sometimes when the day arrives to eat the meal, they're…