"My friend thinks he's smart. He said onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face" is a joke that has been printed on several posters. The joke has…
Sarasota, Florida, shouldn't be confused with "Saah's soda," but there are jokes. "My friend Sarah accidentally left her Pepsi 60 miles south of Tampa. That's the…
Sarasota, Florida, shouldn't be confused with "Saah's soda," but there are jokes. "My friend Sarah accidentally left her Pepsi 60 miles south of Tampa. That's the…
An old joke has it that a restaurant diner is looking for something to eat, and the waiter (or another diner) suggests tongue. "Oh no, I could never eat anything that came out of an…
"There's no fucking way" is sometimes given a pun with the word "whey." "There's no 'F' in 'whey'" was posted on Twitter by James Jillson…
A business that goes into "liquidation" usually doesn't literally become liquid, but there are jokes. "My fruit and vegetable business has gone into liquidation. We now sell…
"My gauge is fine 'til the third glass of wine" is a saying that has been printed on a button. "My gauge is fine 'til the third glass of wine" was cited on Twitter on…
"Sushi" sounds a little bit like "so she." A pun is: "My girlfriend disliked my obsession with Japanese food, sushi left me." The joke was posted on Twitter on…
A pun on "sorbet" is: "My girlfriend fell in an ice cream store. She's now a sore bae." The "sore bae" joke has had many forms. "My girlfriend is mad that I…
"My wife gave me £50 and said spend it on something that makes me look sexy. So I got drunk on Jack Daniels" was posted on Twitter on December 21, 2011. "Whilst out xmas shopping…
Bisto is a well-known brand of gravy. It should not be confused with "bestow," but there are jokes. "My gran's collection of antique gravy boats were Bistoed upon me #1PUN"…
A "pap smear" has nothing to do with a "schmear" (or "shmear"), but there are jokes. Sometimes the "pap" stands for "papaya," "paprika"…
The expression to put "blood, sweat and tears" into something usually means "effort," but sometimes it is taken literally. "My father loved to say that he always put his…
Salmonella (bacteria) has nothing to do with salmon (a fish) or anyone named Ella, but there are jokes. "I heard that Ella Fitzgerald and Sammy Davis Jr. are buying out the Jewel Food Store…
Does expired Greek yogurt acquire more culture and become Ancient Greek yogurt? "And the yogurt's so old it's officially Ancient Greek yogurt!" was posted on Twitter by Duncan…
"My heart bleeds blue borscht" ("My heart beats blue borscht" also has a few recorded citations) means that the speaker couldn't care less -- just the opposite of "my…
"My hobbies are breakfast, lunch and dinner" is a jocular line that has been printed on shirts."My favourite hobbies are breakfast, lunch and dinner" was cited on Twitter on…
"My hobbies include drinking wine and throwing sarcasm around like confetti" is a wine saying that has been printed on an image. The saying (and image) was posted on Facebook and Twitter…
"My hobbies include drinking wine and throwing sarcasm around like confetti" is a wine saying that has been printed on an image. The saying (and image) was posted on Facebook and Twitter…
"My hobbies include drinking wine and throwing sarcasm around like confetti" is a wine saying that has been printed on an image. The saying (and image) was posted on Facebook and Twitter…