“If booze is liquid courage, then coffee is liquid initiative”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“If bread goes bad, we throw it away, If bananas go bad, we make bread out of them”
Bananas go bad fast, and many people use bad bananas in banana bread. This saying was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on November 28, 2017: "If bread goes bad we throw it away, If bananas…
“If butter companies stopped printing the measurements on the wrapper I would literally not know what to do with myself”
One stick of butter equals 8 tablespoons, or 1/4 pound, or 1/2 cup. The measurements are written on the packaging to make things easier. "butter hit the big leagues when they started printing…
“If by ‘balanced breakfast’ you mean a coffee followed by another coffee, then yes, I’ve had a balanced breakfast”
A "balanced breakfast" usually means a variety of breakfast items, such as eggs, bacon, cheese, oatmeal, cereal, milk, orange juice and coffee. To some people, a "balanced…
“If cannibals start starving, they can always make themselves a snack”
"If cannibals start starving, they can always make themselves a snack" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on January 26, 2019. It was removed (Showerthoughts doesn't accept…
“If cauliflower can somehow become pizza…then you, my friend, can do anything”
"If cauliflower can somehow become pizza...then you, my friend, can do anything" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images. "If cauliflower can be pizza, we, my…
“If coffee can’t fix it, it’s a serious problem”
"If coffee can't fix it, it's a serious problem" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "If coffee can't fix it, nothing can!" was posted on…
“If coffee is my favorite drug, then what is coffee’s favorite drug?”/“Pot.”
A coffeepot riddle is: Q: If coffee is my favorite drug, then what is coffee's favorite drug?A: Pot. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on June 30, 2017. Reddit -- JokesIf coffee is my…
“If daiquiri is spelled like daiquiri, then why can’t Zachary be spelled like Zaiquiri?”
"Daiquiri" (a cocktail) and "Zachary" (a man's name) both rhyme, but are spelled differently. "If Daiquirí is spelled like Daiquirí then why isn't Zachary…
“If Daiquirí is spelled like Daiquirí, then why isn’t Zachary spelled like Zaiquirí?”
"Daiquiri" (a cocktail) and "Zachary" (a man's name) both rhyme, but are spelled differently. "If Daiquirí is spelled like Daiquirí then why isn't Zachary…
“If Drinks Could Talk: Coffee - You can do this! Wine - You don’t have to do this!”
"If Drinks Could Talk: Coffee - You can do this! Wine - You don't have to do this! Tequila - Holy shit! Did you really just do that?!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“If farmer A sells apples, farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell?”/“Medicine.”
"Farmer C" sounds like "pharmacy," and there have been riddles. "Says here is a riddle - Farmer A sell fruits, Farmer B sell veggie, Farmer C sell?…
“If found drunk or unconscious, please return to anyone but my wife”
"If found drunk, please return to (my) wife" is a jocular T-shirt saying that has been printed on many images. "If found drunk or unconscious, please return to anyone but (my)…
“If found drunk or unconscious, please return to anyone but wife”
"If found drunk, please return to (my) wife" is a jocular T-shirt saying that has been printed on many images. "If found drunk or unconscious, please return to anyone but (my)…
“If found drunk, please return to wife”
"If found drunk, please return to (my) wife" is a jocular T-shirt saying that has been printed on many images. "If found drunk or unconscious, please return to anyone but (my)…
“If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?”/“A poul-tree.”
"Poultry" is often given in pun form as "poul-tree," as in the Brooklyn (NY) Daily Eagle on December 13, 1867: "Holly is the most popular tree at Christmas time; but on…
“If God didn’t make it, don’t take it”
"If nature didn't make it, don't take it" is a health saying that has beenprinted on many images. The saying is usually attributed to Alfredo Darrington Bowman (1933-2016), also…
“If God dwells inside us, I hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what He’s getting”
"If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas because that's what He's getting" was written by Jack Handey in Deeper Thoughts (1993), a sequel…
“If having dogs has taught me anything, it’s how to eat cookies VERY quietly”
"If having dogs has taught me anything, it's how to eat cookies VERY quietly" is a cookie saying that has been printed on many images. "If having dogs has taught me anything,…