“If found drunk or unconscious, please return to anyone but my wife”

“If found drunk, please return to (my) wife” is a jocular T-shirt saying that has been printed on many images. “If found drunk or unconscious, please return to anyone but (my) wife” is another T-shirt saying that has been printed on many images.
   
“If found drunk on unconscious please return to anyone but wife shirt” was posted on Twitter by ralphiotees on February 10, 2019. “If found drunk or unconscious please return to anyone but wife shirt” was posted on Twitter by Eletees on September 30, 2019. “If found drunk or unconscious please return to anyone but wife shirt” was posted on Twitter by Maria on September 30, 2019.
 
“IF FOUND DRUNK OR UNCONSCIOUS PLEASE RETURN TO ANYONE BUT MY WIFE” (shown on a T-shirt) was posted on Facebook by “NY 585 Custom fashion and design” on August 22, 2021, and on Facebook by Tom Mevissen on September 26, 2021.
     
If Found Drunk, Please Return to Wife” was posted on Google Books on November 2, 2021.
   
     
Twitter
Amanda Routledge
@amandaroutledge
might invest in an “if found drunk, please return to this address” t-shirt so I don’t have to tell people “I don’t fucking know” my address
1:35 AM · Feb 9, 2012·Twitter for Mac
     
Twitter
ralphiotees
@ralphiotees
If found drunk on unconscious please return to anyone but wife shirt https://ralphiotees.com/product/if-found-drunk-on-unconscious-please-return-to-anyone-but-wife-shirt/
11:03 AM · Feb 10, 2019·WordPress.com
     
Facebook
Campingislife.com
February 17, 2019 at 9:15 AM ·
“If found lost in another camper or unconscious please return to anyone but wife” 😂
https://campingislife.com/products/in-another-camper
(This is shown on a T- shirt.—ed.)
 
Twitter
Eletees
@realeletees
If found drunk or unconscious please return to anyone but wife shirt, hoodie, long sleeve…Get our If found drunk or unconscious please return to anyone but wife t-shirt available. https://ift.tt/2mJwC6J
12:17 AM · Sep 30, 2019·IFTTT
   
Twitter
Maria
@hothuong1208
If found drunk or unconscious please return to anyone but wife shirt https://trendteestores.com/product/if-found-drunk-or-unconscious-please-return-to-anyone-but-wife-shirt/
11:38 PM · Sep 30, 2019·Twitter Web Client
 
Twitter
Trendt-shirts Store Online
@StoreTrendt
If found drunk or unconscious please return to anyone but wife shirt https://trendt-shirts.net/product/if-found-drunk-or-unconscious-please-return-to-anyone-but-wife-shirt/
4:14 AM · Oct 1, 2019·Twitter Web Client
   
Twitter
INFJ
@trishwalla
Replying to @diggymoreland
The last guy I saw doing that also had on a t-shirt that said “if found drunk and unresponsive, please return to anybody but my wife.” So I hated it twice as much.
1:30 PM · Oct 10, 2020·Twitter for Android
     
Facebook
Taylor’s Tees & More
July 19, 2021 at 10:35 PM ·
(The following text is shown on a T-shirt.—ed.)
IF FOUND
DRUNK
OR UNCONSCIOUS
PLEASE RETURN TO
ANYONE BUT WIFE
 
Facebook
NY 585 Custom fashion and design.
August 22, 2021 at 4:06 PM ·
(The following text is shown on a T-shirt.—ed.)
IF FOUND
DRUNK
OR UNCONSCIOUS
PLEASE RETURN TO
ANYONE BUT MY WIFE
   
Facebook
Tom Mevissen
September 26, 2021 at 1:20 PM ·
(The following text is shown on a T-shirt.—ed.)
IF FOUND
DRUNK
OR UNCONSCIOUS
PLEASE RETURN TO
ANYONE BUT MY WIFE
 
Google Books
If Found Drunk, Please Return to Wife——- Notebook 120 Pages: 6’‘x 9’’ College Ruled Lined
Perfekt As a Log Notebook, Diarys, Day Planner, Journal and To-Do List for Work, University Or at School
By Frank H. Publishing · 2021