“I’ve just fallen through the roof of a French bakery. I’m in a world of pain”
"Pain" is the French word for "bread." "If i was to open a french bakery, i'd call it 'world of pain'" was posted on Twitter by Jamie Scott on October…
“I’ve just found out that my Indian name is Chugalottajava”
"I've just found out that my Indian name is Chugalottajava" (or "I just found out my Indian name is...chugalottajava") is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on…
“I’ve just got a voucher for some gingerbread cake traditionally made with oatmeal and black treacle. It’s a Parkin ticket”
"Parkin" (a gingerbread cake traditionally made with oatmeal and black treacle) has nothing to do with "parking," but there are jokes. "The traffic warden slapped a treacle…
“I’ve just used a proper butter knife for the first time. It melted in my hand”
A butter knife is not made of butter, but there are jokes. "I've just used a proper butter knife for the first time. It melted in my hand" was posted on Sickipedia on May 19, 2024.…
“I’ve just watched a film that was set around a tea plantation in India. It was rated PG”
PG Tips (a brand of tea in the United Kingdom) has nothing to do with the PG (parental guidance) movie rating, but there are jokes. "RT @sickipediabot: I've just watched a film that was…
“I’ve lost loads of weight, just by wearing bread around my head. It’s a loaf hat diet”
Instead of a "low fat diet," what about a "loaf hat diet"? "I'm on a loaf hat diet" was posted on the newsgroup alt.english.usage on October 23, 1999. "For…
“I’ve never been on a cooking show, but I did point out to my family how the cut up hot dogs I added to the macaroni and cheese…”
A cooking joke has it that the speaker has never been on a cooking show, but the speaker can cook something simple (like maybe boil water) and put a kitchen towel over the shoulder. Impressive,…
“I’ve never been on a cooking show, but I did put a kitchen towel over my shoulder once when I made a grilled cheese”
A cooking joke has it that the speaker has never been on a cooking show, but the speaker can cook something simple (like maybe boil water) and put a kitchen towel over the shoulder. Impressive,…
“I’ve never seen a cave drawing of a salad. We eat meat!”
Cave paintings often show hunting scenes. "We have never found a cave drawing/painting of a salad" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. " No one has ever found a…
“I’ve reached the age where ‘Happy Hour’ is a nap”
"Happy Hour" usually refers to drinks at bars and restaurants, but there have been other definitions. "I've reached the age where 'Happy Hour' is a nap" (or…
“I’ve reached the age where I can’t function without my glasses…especially if they’re empty”
"I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses...especially if they're empty" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several ecards.…
“I’ve started drinking my coffee out of a clear mug, so people know where my tolerance level is at”
"I've started drinking my coffee out of a clear mug, so people know where my tolerance level is at" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The implication is that…
“I’ve trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine. He’s a Bordeaux collie”
Is a "Bordeaux collie" (Bordeaux wine + Border Collie) a dog that will bring red wine? "Bordeaux collie" has been cited in print since at least 1995 and has been printed on…
“I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk”
"I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
“I’ll eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a shit about your opinion of me”
"I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I care what anyone thinks of me" (or "I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a fuck about your opinion of me") is a…
“I’ll never be able to run for President because of what I did for a Klondike Bar”
A Klondike bar is an ice cream bar coated with a thin layer of chocolate. "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" is a memorable ad jingle that began in 1982. "I'll never be…
“I’m 200 pages into The Count of Monte Cristo and I have not read a single word about the sandwich yet…”
The Count of Monte Cristo (1846) is a very long novel (about 1,200 pages) by the French writer Alexandre Dumas. The Monte Cristo sandwich is an egg-dipped ham and cheese sandwich that is pan-fried.…
“I’m 700 pages into The Count of Monte Cristo, when is he gonna invent this sandwich”
The Count of Monte Cristo (1846) is a very long novel (about 1,200 pages) by the French writer Alexandre Dumas. The Monte Cristo sandwich is an egg-dipped ham and cheese sandwich that is pan-fried.…
“I’m a coffee lover with no regrets, only refills”
"I’m a coffee lover with no regrets, only refills" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "I’m a coffee lover with no regrets, only refills ☕️🔄"…
“I’m all out of tequila, but there’s no reason you can’t still lick, suck and swallow”
"I lick, swallow and suck... The salt, the tequila, the lime!" is a drinking/sex joke that has been printed on many images. Some images have it as, "I LICK the salt. I SWALLOW the…