If you tie up spaghetti, does it become a jump rope? "I got bored last night, so I tied all of my spaghetti together. I ended up skipping dinner" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by…
American stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) told a now classic joke about husbands and wives. "I told my wife a man is like good wine; he gets better with age. So she locked me…
American stand-up comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) told a now classic joke about husbands and wives. "I told my wife a man is like good wine; he gets better with age. So she locked me…
"I told myself I should stop drinking… But I’m not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was…
"Ribeye" (a steak) shouldn't be confused with "rabbi," but there are jokes. "I told you to bring a couple of RIBEYES home for dinner" (shown on a comic…
"Piece of cake" means something easy. There's a pun: "I took a baking class. The final was a piece of cake." "Time for my Baking class mid term. Should be a piece of…
A "pop quiz" usually doesn't involve soda pop, but there are jokes. X/Twitter LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85 Took a tour of the soda museum. Ended with a pop quiz.…
An Apple Watch is not the same as watching apples, but there are jokes. "The only 'Apple watch' I'll be doing this autumn is at an orchard #amirite" was posted on Twitter…
To "make a hash" of something means to mess up, but what if one is making hash (a food)? "I know tinned corned beef is supposed to be 'easy' food, but I'm still making…
"I tried cooking with wine for the first time last night, after 5 glasses I forgot why I was in the kitchen!" is a jocular wine saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
A “candlelit dinner” usually has candles on the dinner table. The meal is usually not cooked with candles, but there are jokes about that. "Going out tonight for a candlelit dinner. Surely…
"I tried starting a/my day without coffee once... My court date is pending" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Tried starting the day without coffee…
To take something "with a grain of salt" is an expression meaning that one views it with skepticism. "I tried taking everything in life with a grain of salt, but after using up two…
"Stroganoff" sounds like "strong enough," and a pun is: "I tried to change my password to 'beefstew,' but it wasn't stroganoff." The joke was posted on…
"Force-feeding" doesn't involve the "Force" from the
"I tried to say no to vodka, but it's 40% stronger than me" is a jocular one-line vodka saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 6,…
A joke about the homeless is: "I tried to share some chips with a homeless guy in the park last night. He told me to fuck off and get my own." The joke was posted on Twitter on April 10,…
A "bar" can mean a musical section, but it can also mean a place that serves drinks. A joke was published in the Chicago (IL) Daily Tribune on October 28, 1955: "Uncle Helmer tried…
"I trust gas station sushi move than I trust the government" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Sushi is a high-priced item that must be served fresh, and these are…
"I try to avoid things that make me fat. Like scales, photos and mirrors" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I am trying my best to be a good girl and avoid…