Many people, especially Texans, cannot understand anyone who drinks unsweet tea. "I pray I never go through whatever makes y’all drink unsweet tea" was posted on Facebook by Bo Cox on…
"I prefer my kale with a silent 'k'" -- that is, "ale" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. American television sports journalist Rich Esien…
"Butter" is often used as a pun for "better." This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November 9, 2019: "I prefer to have my milk churned. It’s butter that way."…
"I pretend that coffee helps, but I’m still a bitch" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I like to pretend that coffee helps but I'm still a…
"I pretended to be asleep and then I fell asleep. Now I'm going to pretend I'm skinny" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I pretended to be asleep,…
People often cry when they cut up onions, but not when they cut up carrots or other vegetables. "I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don't think they're ugly or…
"Hindsight" is sometimes joked as "Heinzsight" (involving Heinz ketchup). "Pouring ketchup in my eyes was a mistake in Heinz sight" was posted on Twitter by IVESGAGS…
The expression "get one's knickers in a twist" shouldn't be confused with "Snickers in a Twix," but there are jokes. Snickers and Twix are chocolate bars.…
"Cold turkey" is defined as a sudden stop to a dependency (such as smoking or drugs). A pun on the "cold turkey" term appeared in New York magazine on November 20, 1978: "I…
Some people run...for ice cream? "I Ran Five Miles Today.....Damn Ice Cream Truck Still Didn't Stop...Even Though I Was Yellin & Wavin My Money At Him!!" was posted on Twitter on…
"I ran out of coffee this morning. Tequila seemed a reasonable replacement. Everyone is so pretty" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I ran out of coffee this…
Blue Moion is a Belgian-style witbier brewed by MillerCoors. The beer is usually served with an orange slice. There are many "once in a Blue Moon" jokes. "I hardly ever eat orange…
American comedian Rita Rudner used a successful line in her routine by at least 2000: "I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's…
A banana a day can help the colon. However, one should eat the banana -- and not attempt to directly insert it into the colon. "Maxwell said a banana a day is good for keeping your colon…
A "bread knife" cuts bread; the knife is not made of bread, but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on July 19, 2019: "I recently bought a bread knife. It's…
"I decided to become a fruitarian! Meaning I only eat things that naturally fall from a tree! Yesterday I had 2 apples and an Owl!" was posted on Twitter by Sarah Jane Cruickshank on…
Ovaltine is a brand of milk flavoring product made with malt extract. "I reckon the inventor of Ovaltine must be a malty millionaire by now" was posted on Twitter by Paul Eggleston on…
Many people refuse to drink tap water until it’s gone though their Brita filter -- even though they haven’t changed that filter in years! This popular comment was posted on Twitter by Mac…
"I relabeled all the jars in my mom's spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 22, 2019. "Thyme is cumin"…
"Relish" is a pickled sauce, and it also means to eat with pleasure. "I relish pickles" was posted on Twitter by Jessa Sparks on March 26, 2010, and on Reddit -- Oneliners on…