“I bought an alcoholic ginger beer. He wasn’t happy about it”
"Buying an alcoholic ginger beer" can be interpreted as buying "alcoholic ginger beer," or as buying an alcoholic a "ginger beer" (usually non-alcoholic), or as buying…
“I bought bath salts, but my bath still tastes bland”
Bath salts are not for eating baths -- and there is no "bath peppers" -- but there are jokes. "For the woman you love, how about bath salts? And for the woman you hate how about bath…
“I bought cherries and cherry bombs. Bought a Bing, bought a boom”
"Bada bing, bada boom!" is an expression to emphasize something regarded as surprising, sudden, effortlessly achieved or impressive. There have been many puns on the expression, with a…
“I bought my wife a lamp in the shape of a Coke bottle. She was soda lighted”
"So delighted" is sometimes joked as "soda-lighted." "I found out how to make a #lamp out of old #Pepsi #cans I'm #soda #lighted #LetsGetWordy" was posted on…
“I bought powdered water, but I don’t know what to add to it”
"Just add water" is a popular direction on simple recipes or product instructions. "I bought powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it" is a joke that has been…
“I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years”
HP Sauce is a brown sauce popular in the United Kingdom. British prop comedian and magician Tommy Cooper (1921-1984) was credited in 2001 for this joke: "I bought some HP sauce the other day.…
“I bought some pepper spray yesterday. What a terrible product! It made my bolognese taste awful”
Pepper spray is not a food product, but there are jokes. "On recommendation of a buddy I bought some pepper spray. Must say, it does not taste half as good as I would have hoped" was…
“I bought some rocket salad yesterday, but it went off before I could eat it”
"Rocket salad" doesn't contain rocketships, but there's a joke: "I bought some rocket salad yesterday, but it went off before I could eat it." The joke was posted on…
“I brake for coffee” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for coffee" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. It's a joke on the "coffee break." "Bumper Sticker: 'I break for…
“I break for coffee” (bumper sticker)
"I break for coffee" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. It's a joke on the "coffee break." "WARNING! I BREAK FOR COFFEE"…
“I burnt my Hawaiian pizza. I should’ve put it on aloha setting”
A popular Hawaiian pizza pun is: "I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night... I should've put it on aloha setting." That is, "a lower" oven temperature setting. "I just…
“I buy fresh vegetables every day. I feed them to my pig and he converts them into bacon”
"I buy/pick fresh vegetables every day. I feed them to my pig and he converts them into bacon" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "HEALTHY EATING #36 I BUY…
“I buy store brand Spanish rice, not name brands. As they say, ‘Arroz by any other name…’”
"Arroz" (the Spanish word for "rice") can sound like "a "rose." "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" is a famous line from William…
“I call it coffee, but the truth is, it’s a hot cup of fresh brewed tolerance. Now, bring on the nonsense”
A cup of coffee brings calmness and tolerance to many people. "I call it coffee, but the truth is, it's a hot cup of fresh brewed tolerance. Now, bring on the nonsense" (shown on an…
“I called my wife and told her that I’ll pick up Fish and Chips” (joke)
A joke about "picking up fish and chips" has the food item as proper names. "I phoned my wife. 'Do you want me to pick up fish and chips on my way home?' I think she still…
“I came here to drink and fuck and I’m almost done drinking”
"I came here to drink and fuck and I'm about/almost/also done drinking" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "just released 'I came here to drink and fuck and…
“I came here to drink and fuck and I’m also done drinking”
"I came here to drink and fuck and I'm about/almost/also done drinking" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "just released 'I came here to drink and fuck and…
“I came here to drink and fuck…and I’m about done drinking”
"I came here to drink and fuck and I'm about/almost/also done drinking" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "just released 'I came here to drink and fuck and…
“I came into some money so I’m eating an entire avocado for lunch”
An avocado can be expensive. This was posted on X/Twitter by ❤️🔥Sardonic Tart❤️🔥 on June 2, 2017: "I came into some money so I'm eating an entire avocado for…
“I came, I ate, I conquered”
"Veni, vidi, vici" is Latin for "I came, I saw, I conquered." "I came, I ate, I conquered" is a food version. "I CAME, I ATE, I CONQUERED" was published in a…