A joke at first sounds like a new year's resolution, but it isn't. "I gave up drinking on the 1st of January. It's better for your health, and it's only one day a…
"I give in to beer pressure" -- a beer pun on "peer pressure" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I give into peer pressure" is another form…
New York-based comedian Henny Youngman (1906-1998) did a liquor commercial in 1972: “I got a case of Hoffman’s for my wife...that’s not a bad trade.” The line has had many variations.…
"T-shirt" shouldn't be confused with "tea shirt," but there are jokes. "Got thrown out of Coffee Club. I turned up wearing a tea shirt" was posted on Twitter by…
One of the top sex jokes of all time is about the pickle factory worker who has an urge to put his penis in the pickle slicer. When he finally fulfills the urge, he gets fired. "What happened…
"I got food poisoning today I don't know when I'll use it" (or "I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'm going to use it") is a joke that has been…
"I got food poisoning today I don't know when I'll use it" (or "I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'm going to use it") is a joke that has been…
A "soft drink" isn't necessarily physically soft, but there's a joke: "Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft…
"Lettuce leaf" sounds like "let us leave." "I remember a time my friends and I got trapped in a garden...the owners wouldn't lettuce leaf" was posted on Twitter…
"T-shirt" shouldn't be confused with "tea shirt," but there are jokes. "Got thrown out of Coffee Club. I turned up wearing a tea shirt" was posted on Twitter by…
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines that usually required to shots. "Just got my first shot. I'll get my second one as soon as the bartender gets back down here"…
"I got so drunk last night, I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest" is a jocular saying that as been printed on many images. "Last night I was…
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitter Sawyer Stone @FuckinnShiti sooooooo wasted I don't kno if I found some keys or lost a car2:19 PM - 26 Sep 2013 TwitterRyan @RyanGoodyerI'm so…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to stay at home in quarantine. "It's driving me crazy not going out. I was that pissed last night I don't remember getting home…
A bee stings, but it usually doesn't have a sting operation -- that is, to catch suckers. "IT'S early evening in a south London pub and Robbie Williams -- for so long dubbed `the…
AncestryDNA tests for ethnicity. A popular St. Patrick's Day joke is about a test for Irish roots. "I grew up all my life believing I was Irish. But thanks to http://ancestry.Com I now…
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A popular joke variation is: "I grilled a chicken for two hours…
Many hotels serve continental breakfasts. One joke is that some serve African continent breakfasts -- that is, not much food. "I'd forgotten how broadly interpreted Continental Breakfast…
"OMG" (Oh My God) shouldn't be confused with "0mg" (no milligrams), but there are jokes. "I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was,…
English writer and comedian Tim Vine has a frequently told one-line joke about dicing carrots: "I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper -- dicing with…