“I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to do”
"I do whatever my rice crispies/krispies tell me to" is a popular bumper sticker saying. Kellogg's Rice Krispies cereal says "snap, crackle, pop" when milk is added…
“I don’t always drink water, but when I do it’s filtered water. Through my coffeemaker. It’s coffee”
"I don't always drink water, but when I do, it's coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. One image involves "The Most Interesting Man in the…
“I don’t always drink water, but when I do, it’s coffee”
"I don't always drink water, but when I do, it's coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. One image involves "The Most Interesting Man in the…
“I don’t buy coffee to work, I work to buy coffee. It’s the circle of life”
"I work to buy coffee. I buy coffee so I can work. It's the circle of life" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I work so I can buy iced coffee. I buy iced coffee…
“I don’t buy fat-free milk because I don’t want to encourage cows with negative body image issues”
A joke about fat free milk was posted on Twitter by Krunal Sagan o August 27, 2010: "I don't buy fat-free milk because I don't want to encourage cows with negative body image issues…
“I don’t call the shots I just drink them”
The phrase "call the shots" shouldn't be confused with shots of alcohol, but there are jokes. "YOU CALL THE SHOTS... or you just drink em!" was posted on Facebook by X…
“I don’t care what day it is. It’s early… I’m grumpy… I want coffee”
"I don't care what day it is. It's early... I'm grumpy... I want coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying usually applies to a Saturday morning…
“I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I do enjoy the festive drinks. You could say I’m eggnogstic”
"Eggnogstic" (eggnog + agnostic) is a jocular term that has been cited in print since at least 1885. Various definitions have been given. "If I don't like egg nog, does that…
“I don’t diet. I just eat according to my goals”
"I don't diet. I just eat according to my goals" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Some people eat to get stronger and have more energy, while others want to lose…
“I don’t drink alcohol for religious reasons. I drink it for other reasons”
"I don't drink alcohol for religious reasons.I drink it for other reasons" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Joe Tenny on August 11, 2010. "@DaNovaKiDD: I don't drink…
“I don’t drink alcohol, I drink distilled spirits. So I’m not an alcoholic, I’m spiritual”
"I don't drink alcohol, I drink distilled spirits. So I'm not an alcoholic, I'm spiritual" (or "I don't drink alcohol, I drink distilled spirits. Therefore,…
“I don’t drink alcohol, I drink distilled spirits. Therefore, I’m not an alcoholic, I’m spiritual”
"I don't drink alcohol, I drink distilled spirits. So I'm not an alcoholic, I'm spiritual" (or "I don't drink alcohol, I drink distilled spirits. Therefore,…
“I don’t drink champagne anymore after a really bad experience. We had it at my wedding”
"I don't drink champagne anymore after a really bad experience. We had it at my wedding" is a joke that was told on many sites on July 22, 2012. The joke appears to have originated…
“I don’t drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee”
"I don't drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I used to drink coffee to wake up. Now, I wake up to drink…
“I don’t drink for religious reasons. I drink for other reasons”
"I don't drink alcohol for religious reasons.I drink it for other reasons" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Joe Tenny on August 11, 2010. "@DaNovaKiDD: I don't drink…
“I don’t drink to get drunk. I drink to get my inner demons drunk”
"I don't drink to get drunk. I drink to get my inner demons drunk, so they'll pass out and give me some peace" is a drinking saying that has been printed on several images.…
“I don’t drink water because fish fuck in it”
The comic actor W. C. Fields (1880-1946) was known for drinking alcohol. He allegedly said that he didn't drink water because "fish fuck in it." "I don't drink water…
“I don’t eat snails—I prefer fast food”
Sports Illustrated recorded a quote in its September 23, 1985 issue by San Francisco Giants third base coach Rocky Bridges. Bridges was asked why he refused to eat snails and he replied, "I…
“I don’t eat spinach. If I ate it I might like it, and I hate the damned stuff”
A joke is told about a person (usually an Irishman) who doesn't like lettuce/spinach/broccoli. The logic goes like this: "I don't eat lettuce/spinach/broccoli. If I ate it I might…
“I don’t even like food I just be eating so I don’t die”
Many people are tired of eating and no longer like food. "My appetite has been so weird lately. I just be eating so I don’t die" was posted on X/Twitter by BUCKINBUCKINWOAH on July 21,…