"I could be a morning person if my coffee maker brewed wine instead of coffee" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on March…
A bad cook burns the food, but an epically bad cook "can burn water." "Cpl. Agarn (on the television comedy F-Troop -- ed.), who can burn water, becomes the troop cook, with…
"I could use a foot massage, 4 donuts, and an orgasm" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. “@NaughtyFacts: I could use a foot massage, 4 donuts, and an…
"I could use a foot massage, 4 donuts, and an orgasm" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. “@NaughtyFacts: I could use a foot massage, 4 donuts, and an…
"I could use a foot massage, 4 donuts, and an orgasm" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. “@NaughtyFacts: I could use a foot massage, 4 donuts, and an…
"I could use a foot massage, 4 donuts, and an orgasm" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. “@NaughtyFacts: I could use a foot massage, 4 donuts, and an…
"Mayonnaise" can sound a bit like "my own eyes." "'I saw it with mayonnaise' '..What?' 'With my own eyes' #fakeaccentproblems" was posted…
A pun on the word "mull" was posted on Twitter on August 23, 2009: "I couldn't decide whether or not to make spiced apple cider, so I mulled it over." Wiktionary: mull…
Mayonnaise has nothing to do with the month of May, but there are jokes. "MAYonnaise, more like JUNEonnaise" was posted on Twitter by Aron on June 7, 2012. "If you eat mayonnaise in…
Many people cry when they chop up onions, and this is the subject of a popular dark joke. "When I cut up onions, it always makes me cry. He was a good dog and will be missed" was posted…
People often cry when they cut up onions, but not when they cut up carrots or other vegetables. "I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don't think they're ugly or…
"With great power comes great responsibility" is a popular line from Spider-Man in Marvel Comics. "With grate power comes grate responsibility" is a cheese grater pun.…
"I did not hear the question, but the answer is definitely coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "I didn't really hear the question but I know the…
"I did not see that cumin" -- like the saying "I did not see that coming" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "As a result of the oregano post, we…
"Mayonnaise" can sound a bit like "my own eyes." "'I saw it with mayonnaise' '..What?' 'With my own eyes' #fakeaccentproblems" was posted…
"I didn't choose the mug life. The mug life chose me" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The pun is on the term "thug life." "I…
The saying "crunch the numbers" takes on a different meaning when cookies are shaped like numbers. "My favorite activity is making number shaped cookies and crackers because i really…
New York City-born comedian Joe E. Lewis (1902-1971) was quoted in 1965 for the line, "I distrust camels or anybody else who don't take a drink once in a while." The camel drinking…
"I do dumb shit like turn down food when I'm mad" is a food saying that has been printed on several images. "i do dumb shit like turn down food when i’m mad 😭" was…
" I do my best thinking when I'm drinking" is a T-shirt slogan. The saying has been cited in print since at least 2006. Zazzle.comI Do My Best Thinking When I'm Drinking Shirt…