"I need to get back in shape, but I'm kind of waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
"I never run with scissors. Those last two words were unnecessary" is a jocular anti-running saying that has been printed on many images. Children are often told not to run while carrying…
"I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd wake up early in the morning to exercise...And I was right" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I…
Many runs are planned over holiday weekends, such as a 5k "turkey trot" over Thanksgiving. "I plan on marrying into a family that does mimosas on holiday mornings instead of…
A fitness magazine joke was posted on Twitter by Jonny Cooper on September 5, 2013: "Last week I posed naked for a men's fitness magazine. I think the cashier would have preferred…
"I bet testing treadmills is a great starter job. Seems like it could really get a career up and running..." is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Nancy on September 28, 2012. "My…
Some people run...for ice cream? "I Ran Five Miles Today.....Damn Ice Cream Truck Still Didn't Stop...Even Though I Was Yellin & Wavin My Money At Him!!" was posted on Twitter on…
People named "Miles" should not be confused with actual "miles," but there are jokes. "I actually meant to say I ran over 4 people named Miles" was posted on Twitter…
"I ran twice today. First I ran out of beer, and then I ran to get some more" is a jocular saying about running that has been printed on many images. "I ran twice today, first i ran…
"I run because I really like food/beer/chocolate/cookies/dessert/wine" has been printed on many T-shirts. The idea is that running burns off the calories of the food consumed. "I run…
"I run better than the government" is a jocular one-line running saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 2, 2013. TwitterAustin Camey…
"I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts" is a coffee saying that has been printed on any images. "Running solely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts" was…
"I run like the winded" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker get "winded" and gasps for air. "Run like the wind" means to run…
"I save my back exercise till the end… lats but not least" was posted on Twitter by Dubai Dad Jokes on May 15, 2023, and then posted about a minute later on Reddit -- Dadjokes.…
"I saw a clown doing sit-ups. Funny how things work out. (via @russell_kane)" was posted on Twitter on March 2, 2012. The joke is from English comedian Ruseel Kane. Wikipedia: Russell…
When people go to a gym for "leg day," they work on their legs. Spiders have many legs. "Imagine how bad a spider's leg day is at the gym! 4 times worse than a humans!" was…
Is a crime at a running race a race crime? There's a joke: "I shot someone with a starting gun. I've been charged with race crime." The pun was cited on Twitter on October 7,…
"I swim to look good naked" is a saying about swimming that has been printed on many images. "I don’t swim to be healthy, I swim to look good as fuck naked.." was posted on…
"My two cents" is sometimes jocularly written as "my two scents" (one for each armpit). "I don't think fragrances have to be mutually exclusive - (but that's just…
A half marathon is 13.1 miles. "I thought they said 1.31 miles" (or "I thought it was 1.31 miles") is a joke that has been printed on many images. "13.1?!??! I thought you…