“I’m not yawning. I’m doing face yoga”
"I'm not yawning. I'm doing face yoga" is a jocular saying that has been printed on a T-shirt. "I'm not yawning. I'm doing face yoga" was posted on Twitter…
“I’m really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans”
"I'm really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Yeah I do Crossfit.... I CROSS my…
“I’m running in a 0.0000005K run to raise awareness for laziness”
"I'm running in a 0.0000005K run to raise awareness for laziness" was posted on Twitter by thotrey hepurn on February 16, 2017. That is, the lazy person is barely moving at all, just…
“I’m thinking about getting a pet to take jogging with me. Maybe a turtle”
Many people jog/run with their dogs. "I can't run fast enough to take my dog jogging, so I got a pet turtle" was posted on Facebook by Mark Renfroe on December 15, 2017.…
“I’m thinking about running a marathon again” (joke)
A joke about running the marathon was cited on reddit in November 2015: Me: "I'm thinking about running a marathon again."Her: "Wow, you have ran a marathon before?"Me:…
“I’m walking on a treadmill. I named it Sunshine. I’m walking on Sunshine”
"I'm walking on sunshine woahhhh I'm walking on sunshine woahhh wait it's a treadmill ..." was posted on Twitter by Anna Craig on April 9, 2010. The song "Walking on…
“I’m working on a fitness routine for insects. It’s OK, but I’m still trying to work out the bugs”
The expression "work out the bugs" means to remove defects, but a joke takes the words literally. "I'm working on a fitness routine for insects. It's going well, but…
“I’ve been exercising using dictionaries, and I’m finally starting to see some definition”
People work out to "see some definition," such as muscles coming out from what used to be fat. "Been bench pressing dictionaries, starting to see some definition in my arms..."…
“I’ve been hiding from exercise. I’m in the fitness protection program”
"I've been hiding from exercise. I'm in the fitness protection program" '' a pun on "witness protection program" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“I’ve decided to start calling my toilet Jim instead of John. I go to the Jim every morning”
"Instead of John, I call my bathroom Jim. That way it sounds better when I say I went to the Jim first thing this morning" is a jocular gym saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’ve noticed that people who wear jogging bottoms are usually the least likely to actually jog”
Many people who wear jogging bottoms do not jog. "for years i preached hate against the types who wear jogging bottoms when they obviously do not jog... now, i wear them too (in…
“I’ve started cross fit. I cross my fingers and hope my pants fit”
"I'm really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Yeah I do Crossfit.... I CROSS my…
“I’ve worn this for 20 years and it still fits.”/“It’s a scarf.”
Someone is in good shape when an old piece of clothing still fits, right? This joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on October 4, 2011 (originally on the Sickipedia website) and has been…
“I’m not too good at push ups or sit ups, but fuck ups? Let me tell you”
"I'm not good at push ups, pull ups, or sit ups. I'm pretty good at fuck ups though" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Im ok when it comes to sit…
“I’m pretty sure it’s easier to leave most street gangs than it is to cancel a gym membership”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterBill Murray @BiIIMurrayI’m pretty sure that it’s easier to leave most street gangs than it is to cancel a membership to a gym.12:30 PM - 21 Dec 2017
“I’m so out of shape, I got winded taking the tour of the gym”
"Wow, Im so out of shape that Im winded just taking the tour of the gym!" was posted on X/Twitter by Chia (KAI-ya) on November 16, 2009. "I’m so out of shape, I got winded taking…
“I’m so strong I can lift a house! Well, only if it’s a lighthouse”
A weightlifting joke was posted on Twitter on May 6, 2014: Stranger: You can lift a house? Me: Yep.Stranger: Wow, you must be strong.Me: Nah, it's a light house. "I'm so strong I can…
“I’m so unfamiliar with my gym that I have started calling it Mr. James”
"Gym" sounds like the personal name "Jim" (a male name for "James"). "A buddy and I used to call the gym "the James" because we didn't know it well…
“I’ve got a funny joke about gymnastics, but it’s a bit of a stretch”
"I managed to finally come up with a joke about yoga but it's a bit of a stretch" was posted on Twitter by Ashley Maltz on October 18, 2012. "Got this joke about yoga but it’s…
“I’ve got a joke about yoga, but it’s a bit of a stretch”
"I managed to finally come up with a joke about yoga but it's a bit of a stretch" was posted on Twitter by Ashley Maltz on October 18, 2012. "Got this joke about yoga but it’s…