“I go to the gym religiously. About twice a year around the holidays”

To do something “religiously” usually means to do it regularly and well—to please God. However, not everyone is religious.
 
“Tell people you go to the gym religiously When they seem impressed, let them down by saying ‘yah I go on Christmas and Easter’” was posted on Twitter by Manos Torgo on February 10, 2010. “When I say I go to the gym religiously, that usually means every christmas and easter” was posted on Twitter by Cambodius on March 12, 2012.
 
“I go to the gym religiously—about twice a year around the holidays” is a line that New York City-born comedian and writer Demetri Martin has used since at least 2015. It was included in his March 2015 television special, Demetri Martin: Live (At the Time).
   
         
Wikipedia: Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martin (born May 25, 1973) is an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin.
 
Twitter
Manos Torgo
@manostorgo
Tell people you go to the gym religiously When they seem impressed, let them down by saying “yah I go on Christmas and Easter.”
11:46 AM - 10 Feb 2010
   
Twitter
Myfizzypop
@myfizzypop
Replying to @nawitisnae
@nawitisnae I go to the gym religiously… Christmas, Easter, Rosh HasHana… I lift weights and go “oh Christ, that’s heavy”... :D
3:31 AM - 30 Jun 2011
 
Twitter
Cambodius
@Cambodius
When I say I go to the gym religiously, that usually means every christmas and easter.
1:52 PM - 12 Mar 2012
       
Twitter 
Kylie Wack
@kyliewack
I go to the gym religiously…. Twice a year-Demetri Martin
2:35 AM - 17 Jan 2015
 
Twitter
Michael
@Mochi_1994
I go to the gym religiously… About twice a year around the holidays.
11:16 AM - 3 Feb 2015
     
IMDb.com (The Internet Movie Database)
Demetri Martin: Live (At the Time) (2015 TV Special)
Quotes (The special aired in March 2015.—ed.)
Demetri Martin: I go to the gym religiously - about twice a year around the holidays.
 
Twitter
Brittany Peters
@Brittany_Peters
“I go to the gym religiously. Twice a year on the holidays.” - Demetri Martin
1:36 PM - 1 Mar 2015
 
Twitter
Yik Yak
@YikYakApp
“I go to the gym religiously. 2 times a year around the holidays.” — Penn State
9:46 PM - 29 Aug 2015
           
Google Groups: The Grif.net
11/03/15 Grif.Net - Status Updates from Friends
Dr. Bob
11/3/15
(...)
When I say I go to the gym religiously, I mean every Christmas and Easter . . .
 
Reddit—Jokes
I go to the gym religiously
submitted October 24, 2016 by BlueFireAt
Christmas, and maybe Easter
 
Reddit—Jokes
I go to the gym religiously.
submitted November 17, 2016 by AParable
You know, once or twice a year around the holidays.
 
Reddit—Jokes
I’ve been going to the gym religiously.
submitted May 19, 2017 by syghts
Once a year, on Easter.
 
Reddit—Dad Jokes
I go to the gym religiously. (self.dadjokes)
submitted July 20, 2018 by Shadeauxmarie
About twice a year around the holidays.