"I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The quote was posted on Twitter by Mr Roger Quimbly on…
"I go to the gym almost every day -- almost Monday, almost Tuesday..." is a joke spoken by someone who almost never goes to the gym. "I go to the gym almost every day. Almost Monday,…
To do something "religiously" usually means to do it regularly and well -- to please God. However, not everyone is religious. "Tell people you go to the gym religiously When they…
A classic swimming pool joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. A lifeguard tells a swimmer that he's banned for peeing in the pool. "But everyone pees in the pool!" the…
"I got my stomach doing crunches -- usually either Nestlé or Captain" (that is, Nestlé Crunch chocolate bars and Cap'n Crunch cereal) is a jocular statement that has been printed…
"I guess that people who run marathons for fun haven’t heard about sex and booze" and "I bet people who run marathons for fun haven't heard about sex and alcohol" are…
Some people would rather fake it than exercise. This was posted on Twitter by MomofTeen on April 19, 2018: "I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop."…
"Exercise in the morning before your brain figures out what you're doing" is a saying that has been printed on several posters. "I have to exercise early in the morning before…
"I haven’t tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys, so I’m pretty sure I’d hate yoga" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
"Hit the gym" is an expression meaning "go to the gym" that's not meant to be taken as a literal "hit," but there's a joke: "I hit the gym, but I drove…
"Jehovah's Fitness" is a gym pun of "Jehovah's Witness." "Is considering the PC ramifications of opeining a Christians only Gym called 'Jehovah's…
"I am fond of long walks—when taken by some folks who annoy me" is a jocular line that was cited in a February 1932 newspaper, without attribution. "Fred Allen admits that he likes…
"If by 'crunches' you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches" and "If by 'crunches' you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then…
"I love my six-pack (abs) so much, I protect it with a layer of fat" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Yes -- I do work out and I do have a six-pac.…
There's a difference between "workout" and "work out," and there's a pun: "I met my ex-wife down at the gym. We didn't workout." The joke was cited on…
"I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same" is a jocular line about running -- or not running -- that has been printed on…
"I need to get back in shape, but I'm kind of waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
"I never run with scissors. Those last two words were unnecessary" is a jocular anti-running saying that has been printed on many images. Children are often told not to run while carrying…
"I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd wake up early in the morning to exercise...And I was right" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I…
Many runs are planned over holiday weekends, such as a 5k "turkey trot" over Thanksgiving. "I plan on marrying into a family that does mimosas on holiday mornings instead of…