“How do bunnies stay in shape?”/“Hareobics.”
An Easter bunny riddle is: Q: How do bunnies stay in shape?A: Hareobics. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. “How do bunnies stay healthy?"/"Eggercise" is a…
“How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?”/“Hide their trainers.”
A riddle about laptop batteries "running out" is: Q: How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?A: Hide their trainers (sneakers). The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“How does a physicist exercise?”/“By pumping ion.”
A physics riddle is: Q: How does a physicist exercise?A: By pumping ion. The pun is on the title of the 1977 bodybuilding film Pumping Iron. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996.…
“How’s my running? Call 1-800-EAT-DUST”
"How's my running? Call 1-800-EAT-DUST" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts (on the back) and bumper stickers. "How's my…
“Hustle for that muscle”
"Hustle for the/that muscle" is an exercise saying that has been printed on many images. "Try this link ...hustle for the muscle !" was posted on Twitter by MC HAMMER on May 15,…
“I am in shape. Round is a shape.”
"I am in shape. Round is a shape!" is a saying that's popular with some out-of-shape people and has even been put on T-shirts. The origin of the phrase is unknown, cited in print…
“I am known at the gym as the ‘before picture’”
"I am known at the gym as the 'before picture'" is a jocular line. The "before picture" means someone who is out of shape, before training. "I am known at the gym…
“I am pushing sixty—that is enough exercise for me”
"I am pushing fifty/sixty -- that is enough exercise for me" is an old joke. Mark Twain (the pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemons, 1835-1910) is frequently credited, but Twain never said…
“I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, then don’t go. It’s a running joke”
A "running joke" was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on October 25, 2018: "Every morning for the past six months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I…
“I asked my gym instructor, “Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said, ‘How flexible are you?’”
A person can be physically flexible, and the person's schedule can also be flexible. There are several jokes. "So I said to the Gym instructor 'Can you teach me to do the…
“I asked the hot girl at my gym what her new year’s resolution was” (joke)
A new year's resolution joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 12, 2016: "Today i asked the hot girl at my gym what her New Year's resolution was. She said 'fuck…
“I bet people who run marathons for fun haven’t heard about sex and alcohol”
"I guess that people who run marathons for fun haven’t heard about sex and booze" and "I bet people who run marathons for fun haven't heard about sex and alcohol" are…
“I bought an exercise machine, but when I assembled it, a message kept flashing up…” (joke)
A "cross-trainer" (elliptical trainer) is not the same thing as a "trainer who is cross," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on January 10, 2018:…
“I broke up with my gym. We were not working out”
"I broke up with my gym; we were just not working out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on T-shirts. "I broke up with my Gym, we were not working out" was cited on…
“I can’t stand bodybuilders who smoke weed. They always act so high and mighty”
The term "high and mighty" doesn't necessarily refer to a bodybuilder on weed, but there are jokes. "Most of my peeps smoke weed after they hit the gym, thinking they all high…
“I come from mixed race parents. My dad was a hurdler and my mom a sprinter”
"Mixed race parents” usually does not involve running, but there are jokes. "My mate's mam is a hurdler, but his dad is a sprinter. Will they be deported for being a mixed race…
“I didn’t think wearing orthopaedic shoes would help my posture, but now I stand corrected”
"I didn't think wearing orthopaedic shoes would help my posture," an old joke goes, "but now I stand corrected." The joke has been told several times by television…
“I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far”
A 301(k) retirement savings contribution plan shouldn't be confused with a 10K (kilometers) run, but there's a joke: "I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's…
“I do exercise. I do one sit up everyday…when I get out of bed in the morning”
"I do exercise. I do one sit up everyday…when I get out of bed in the morning" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. "I'm gettin outta shape! Good thing…
“I do marathons (on Netflix)”
Not every "marathon" involves running 26.2 miles. "I do marathons (on Netflix)" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Darling son just told me…