"High definition" has nothing to do with getting high and reading a dictionary, but there are jokes. "RT @RickieJacobs These rappers try to take my recognition/ We smoke weed then…
A Valentine's Day joke is: GIRL: I can't be your valentine for medical reasons.BOY: Really?GIRL: Yeah, you make me sick! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 14 February…
Many people believe that politicians don't do a whole lot of work. "I used to sit around and do nothing all day. Then I got arrested for impersonating a politician" was posted on…
"I can't believe I/we still have to protest this crap/shit" is a popular sign at many protest marches. "I can't believe I still have to protest this crap" was printed…
"Swipe the cardigan" sounds like "swipe the (credit) card again." "I tried buying a buttoned sweater, but my payment was declined so I had to swipe the cardigan" was…
"I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person" is a jocular New Year's one-line saying that has been printed on an ecard. Someecards posted…
Pretzels are baked bread often -- but not always -- shaped into a twisted knot. "Why do people eat pretzels since they are knot food? (Pun of the Day)" -- from the website Pun of the Day…
Trans-Siberian Orchestra (TSO) is an American rock band. "Trans-Siberian" usually means "across Siberia," but there are jokes where "trans" means…
Eric Garner died in Staten Island on July 17, 2014. A police officer had grabbed his neck (seemingly choking Garner), and a video of the incident recorded Garner saying, "I can't…
"I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
New York-born actor and comedian George Burns (1896-1996) wanted to live to at least age 100 and he constantly worked, without formally retiring. He long-planned to celebrate his 100th birthday…
"I can't espresso how much you bean to me" is a pun-filled coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I can not espresso how much you bean to me" was posted on…
"Press charges" usually means to press "legal" charges. The expression usually has nothing to do with detonating explosives, but there are jokes. "Those who aim torpedoes…
There is a difference between a "car manual" and a "manual transmission," but there are jokes. "I wonder if in the US cars with an automatic (transmission) come with a…
A ventriloquist speaks for someone else -- a "dummy." "I can't speak for anyone else, but I think my ventriloquist act is going well" was posted on Twitter by This Henry…
The term "I can't stand" (meaning "I hate") usually doesn't involve standing, but there are jokes. "I can't stand broken tripods" was posted on Twitter…
"I can't stand people who blame everyone else for their problems. I'd be successful and happy by now if it wasn't for them" is a jocular saying that was posted on X/Twitter…
The saying "I can't stand" is usually not taken literally, but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November 24, 2019: "I can't stand when people kick…
A blender joke is: "I can't tell if I like this blender. It keeps giving me mixed results." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on December 23, 2016. TwitterCJ…
Many people think that a rice cake tastes like styrofoam. "Eating a stale rice cake... or is it? How can you tell?" was posted on Twitter by Travis Spencer on March 19, 2008. "How,…