“If someone wants you, nothing will keep them away”
"If someone wants you, nothing can keep them away. If they don't want you, nothing can make them stay" was cited in print in 2004 and is of unknown authorship. Several numbered…
Food/Drink
“If something cannot go on forever, it will stop” (Stein’s Law)
Economist Herbert Stein (1916-1999) wrote in 1986: "But if it can't go on forever it will stop. And if we never do anything that we can't go on doing forever we will never do very…
“If something here offends you, please let us know. We can all use a good laugh”
"If something here offends you, please let us know. We can all use a good laugh" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If Something Here Offends You, Please Let Us Know,…
“If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is”
"If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is" was a catchphrase used by the Better Business Bureau to alert the public to shady business practices. The phrase was used since at least…
“If speaking kindly to plants helps them grow, imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do”
"If speaking kindly to plants helps them grow, imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If speaking kindly to plants helps…
“If statists can’t even fix potholes effectively, how can they promise to fix an entire planet?”
"Statism is the belief that a group of people who can't fix potholes can fix an entire planet" is an anti-government saying that has been pritned on several images. "STATISM IS…
“If steak were a religion, this would be its cathedral” (Smith & Wollensky)
The Smith & Wollensky steakhouse at Third Avenue and 49th Street began in 1977. There are now other restaurants in Boston, Chicago, Columbus, Dallas, Houston, Las Vegas, Miami Beach,…
“If stealing 100% of the product of someone’s labor is slavery, at what percentage is it not?”
"Slavery: If stealing 100% of the product of someone's labor is slavery, at what percentage is it not slavery?" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying is…
“If steroids aren’t allowed in sports, why is makeup allowed in beauty pageants?”
"If drugs/steroids aren't allowed in sports, why is makeup allowed in beauty contests/pageants?" is a question that has been printed on many images. "If steroids aren't…
“If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel”
"If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel" is a jocular one-line saying about stress that has been printed on many images. "If stress burned calories, I’d be a size…
“If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel”
"If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel" is a jocular one-line saying about stress that has been printed on many images. "If stress burned calories, I’d be a size…
“If studying history always makes you feel proud and happy, you probably aren’t studying history”
A saying about studying history was posted on Twitter by Librarianshipwreck on September 17, 2020: "Studying history will sometimes make you uncomfortable.Studying history will sometimes make…
“If stupidity got us into this mess, why can’t it get us out?”
"If stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?" is a silly saying that doesn't fully make sense -- getting out of a mess is different than getting into one. The…
“If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales”
"If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales (to me)" is a joke on many websites that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts and posters. "If swimming is so good…
“If Target had a bar, I’d probably never leave”
"If Target had a bar, my life would be perfect" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Target is a retail chain store. "If Target had a bar, it would be the…
“If Target had a bar, my life would be perfect”
"If Target had a bar, my life would be perfect" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Target is a retail chain store. "If Target had a bar, it would be the…
“If taxation wasn’t theft, IRS agents wouldn’t need guns”
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has some of its agents carry guns to enforce its actions collecting revenue. "If taxation wasn’t theft, IRS agents wouldn’t need guns" was posted on…
“If taxes weren’t theft, the IRS wouldn’t need guns”
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has some of its agents carry guns to enforce its actions collecting revenue. "If taxation wasn’t theft, IRS agents wouldn’t need guns" was posted on…
“If tea leaves, does coffee have grounds for divorce?”
A joke has tea and coffee married: "If the tea leaves, does it give the coffee grounds for divorce?" The tea and coffee puns were cited in several newspapers in 1911. 26 May 1911, New…
“If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear”
"If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear" is a saying about the tile-matching puzzle video game that has been printed on several images.…