“Chickens like to draw, but a cock’ll doodle, too”
"Cock a doodle doo" is part of an 18th century English language nursery rhyme. "No, but when you visit him, you should take some scrap paper for his kid to draw on. Oh, and some for…
Archive for /P23060
“I moved into an apartment over a bank. My assets over five million dollars”
A money joke was told by The Unknown Comic (Murray Langston) on television's The Gong Show (1976-1980): "I got an apartment over a bank. Now my assets over 10 million dollars." The…
“A street had houses numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB. It was a trip down memory lane”
"Memory lane" is an imaginary path through the nostalgically remembered past and not an actual street. However, a computer memory joke was posted on Twitter on March 17, 2010: "I…
“Why didn’t anyone respect the mushroom farmer?”/“He had no morels.”
"Morels" (a genus of edible sac fungi) sounds like "morals," and there have been several puns. "I knew an unscrupulous mushroom farmer....he had no morels" was posted…
“How do German breads greet each other?/“By saying ‘Gluten Tag!’”
"Guten Tag!" is German for "Good day!" A popular food pun is "Gluten Tag!" "Was talking with Toby today about opening a bakery with an emphasis on central &…
“I got an apartment over a bank. Now my assets over 10 million dollars”
A money joke was told by The Unknown Comic (Murray Langston) on television's The Gong Show (1976-1980): "I got an apartment over a bank. Now my assets over 10 million dollars." The…
“Why did the musician give his daughters the same name?”/“So he could yell ‘Anna 1, Anna 2!’”
American bandleader Lawrence Welk (1903-1992) often started his music with, "And a 1! And a 2!" "Anna one, anna two..." is a jocular version that has been cited in print since…
“A street had houses numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB. It was a trip down memory lane”
"Memory lane" is an imaginary path through the nostalgically remembered past and not an actual street. However, a computer memory joke was posted on Twitter on March 17, 2010: "I…
“Waiter: Is your food spicy, sir? Diner: No, smoke always comes out of my ears!”
A joke about spicy food was printed in many newspapers in July 1962: WIFE: Were the peppers too hot, darling?HUSBAND: No, dear. Smoke always comes out of my ears when I eat. The joke became a…
“What do you call an Italian search engine?”/“Bada Bing.”
"Bada bing" is slang that was used in the film The Godfather (1972) and the American crime drama television series The Sopranos. Both entertainments involved Italian-American gangster…
“What food are you able to can?”/“Cannibal (can able) food.”
A cannibal riddle is: Q: What food are you able to can? A: Cannibal (cannable) food. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph…
“I’m so unfamiliar with my gym that I have started calling it Mr. James”
"Gym" sounds like the personal name "Jim" (a male name for "James"). "A buddy and I used to call the gym "the James" because we didn't know it well…
“Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn distance relationship”
"Lawn distance relationship" is a pun on the term "long distance relationship." "People always said I should have dated the girl next door. I'm glad I didn't, I…
“A spark plug walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A spark plug version is: "A spark plug walks into a bar. The bartender says,…
“I was attacked by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me”
"I was attacked by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Just been gang raped by a group of mime artists. . .…
“Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?”/“They get to meet their old flames.”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?A: They get to meet their old flames! The joke was printed in the book 101 Hamburger Jokes (1978) by Phil Hirsch. Google Books101…
“I farted in an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels”
"From Chris Purdy's Facebook Status: I farted in the lift at work this morning.... it was wrong on so many levels" was posted on Twitter on October 7, 2009. "I farted in an…
“Alcoholism is a disease. Get your shots here!” (bar sign)
"Alcoholism is a disease. Get your shots here!" is a jocular bar saying that has been printed on an image. "Bar sign in Casper: Alcoholism is a disease. Get your shots at…
“What is a pirate’s favorite drink?”/“Hi-C.”
The fruit juice-flavored drink Hi-C sounds like "high sea." "Q: What do pirate kids drink to prevent scurvy? A: High Sea" was posted on Twitter on September 19, 2008.…
“My mayonnaise is trying kill me or so my sauces tell me”
"It's national pasta day.....so my sauces tell me..." -- a pun on "my sources tell me" -- was posted on Twitter on January 24, 2013. "Apparenty, the Heinz ketchup has…