“What does a cannibalistic cow eat?”/“Can o bull.”
"Cannibal" sounds like "can o' bull." "Can O' Bull Chief" was a short movie feature in 1928. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on January 21, 2018:…
Archive for /P23020
“My dad’s brother eats loads of pasta. He’s my carbuncle”
A "carbuncle" has nothing to do with "carbs" and "uncles," but there have been puns. "Is that your parent's brother feeding you pasta?" was posted on…
“What does a vegan pirate do in jail?”/“Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve!”
A pirate riddle is: Q: What does a vegan pirate do in jail?A: Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Karma-Lab Forums Pirate Jokeskahrayzee 26-Jun-03, 04:15…
“Why did the suicidal chicken cross the road?”/“To get to the other cyanide.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A suicidal chicken version is: Q: Why did the suicidal chicken cross…
“The font family changed their TV today. It wasn’t working with their Arial”
"Arial" is a sans-serif typeface and set of computer fonts; an "aerial" is an antenna; "Ariel" is a mermaid character in the Disney animated film The Little Mermaid…
“Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross the road again?” (riddle)
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A "double-crossing" version is: Q: Why did the chicken…
“Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the Olympics? It fell at the final curdle”
"Curdle" doesn't sound like "hurdle," but there have been cheese puns. "Did you hear about the cheese that failed? It fell at the final curdle" was posted on…
“A golf course is a site to be holed”
"A sight to behold" is sometimes punned as "a site to be holed." "Ralph Lloyd's new golf course up in Portland is a site to be holed" was cited in print in 1934…
“How come, if ants are always so busy, they always get time to show up at picnics?”
Ants have a worker reputation, but is it true? "How can ants be such hard workers when they always have time to show up at picnics?" is a jocular line that was printed in a 1973…
“What do you call an alien who eats too much cheese, egg yolks & animal fat?”/“An extra cholesterol”
A pun on the movie E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) has been cited in print since at least 1998: Q: What do you call a fat alien?A: An extra-cholesterol! A slightly different version was posted on…
“The most unrealistic thing about Monopoly is the free parking”
The board game Monopoly is sometimes said to be unrealistic. "The most unrealistic thing about Monopoly" was posted on Reddit -- Funny on March 2, 2014, referring to the card "BANK…
“Human statue street performers can be made to move by taking money out of the hat”
Many street performers stay still like statues; a hat is near them for donations. A joke was credited to an email by Chris Bird in February 2017: "Human statues can also be made to move by…
Girther (someone suspicious about another’s weight)
The term “girther” (girth + -er) is similar to the related terms "birther (a person skeptical about another person’s birth information) and “truther” (a person skeptical of the…
“Did you hear about the new deodorant called Umpire? It’s for foul balls”
"Foul balls" can mean one thing in baseball, but can mean another thing to men. A joke has been cited in print since at least 1972: "Did you hear about the new man's deodorant…
“You know it’s time to clean your screen when you start confusing dirt with punctuation”
Specs of dirt on a computer screen can be mistaken for periods and commas. "Keeping a clean desk space is vital, otherwise you try to correct punctuation that in fact turns out to be a speck…
“The feeling of not having to work tomorrow is better than the feeling of not having to work today”
The dread of going back to work can spoil a day off. A work saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on January 18, 2018: "The feeling of not having to work tomorrow is better than the…
“What kind of driver never gets a ticket?”/“A screwdriver.”
A driver riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What kind of driver never gets a ticket?A: A screwdriver. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1969. 22 May 1969, San Diego (CA)…
“Voting Democrat/Republican is like competing in the Special Olympics…”
The Special Olympics is a sports organization for children and adults with intellectual disabilities. A politically incorrect meme uses "Special Olympics" to define a meaningless victory.…
“Do burlesque shows have undress rehearsals?”
Many theatrical productions have dress rehearsals. Does a nude performance hold an "undress rehearsal"? "Undress Rehearsal-Burlesque" was the title of a painting reported in a…
“Agriculture majors who become farmers always find a job in their field”
Many college graduates can't find jobs in what they majored in. "In this economy even farmers are having a hard time getting a job in their field" was posted on Twitter on May 21,…