Girther (someone suspicious about another’s weight)
The term “girther” (girth + -er) is similar to the related terms "birther (a person skeptical about another person’s birth information) and “truther” (a person skeptical of the…
Archive for /P23040
“What do you call a surreptitious shellfish?”/“Clamdestine.”
"Clamdestine" (clam + clandestine) is an infrequently used and jocular shellfish term. "Clamdestine -- Something secretive among shellfish" was published in The Arizona Republic…
“Did you bring bread for the pigeons (in the park)?”/“No, I eat them without the bread.”
Many people feed bread to the birds in a park. A joke has two homeless people talking on a park bench: HOMELESS PERSON ON PARK BENCH: Did you bring bread for the pigeons?SECOND HOMELESS PERSON: No,…
“I’m allergic to rice. I’m basmatic”
There's a difference between "asthmatic" (asthma) and "basmatic" (basmati rice), but there have been jokes. This was printed in the Sunday Mail (Glasgow, Scotland) on…
“Use the word ‘beans’ in a sentence.”/“We are all human beans.”
"Human beings" sounds like "human beans." A joke was printed in Tit-Bits in 1933: "A teacher, giving a lesson on beans, asked the children to compose sentences containing…
“When my father came to America he was told the streets were paved with gold…”
For many immigrants to the United States (and especially to New York, through the Ellis Island immigration station), American was thought to be the "Golden Land" of opportunity, where the…
“I don’t think I ever want to be a mime. It just doesn’t speak to me”
"I don't think the art of being a mime holds any artistic value. It just doesn't speak to me" is a jocular saying that was posted on Twitter on March 9, 2013. "As an art…
“Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics…”
The Special Olympics is a sports organization for children and adults with intellectual disabilities. A politically incorrect meme uses "Special Olympics" to define a meaningless victory.…
“Nuts are just tasty wood”
Some people view eating nuts like eating wood. "Aren't nuts weird? Like tasty wood" was posted on Twitter on July 6, 2010. "Nuts: 'Tasty wood'" was posted on…
“Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics…”
The Special Olympics is a sports organization for children and adults with intellectual disabilities. A politically incorrect meme uses "Special Olympics" to define a meaningless victory.…
Meaty Urologist (“meteorologist” pun)
"Meteorologist" sounds like "meaty urologist," and the pun has been printed on several images. "By the way, why are all the weather forecasts on television given by meaty…
“Where did the general keep his armies?”/“In his sleevies.”
A general's "armies" usually doesn't refer to his physical arms, but there's a riddle: Q: Where did the general keep his armies?A: In his sleevies. The joke has been cited…
“I may be fat, but I identify as a skinny person. I’m trans-fat”
"Trans fat" is different from "transsexual," but there have been several jokes. “I may be skinny but I identify as transfat" was posted on Twitter on November 27, 2014.…
“I just donated $100 to a blind children’s charity, not that the kids will ever see any of it”
Many charities have high overhead, and the donated money doesn't reach the purpose of the charity. A joke was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia on January 3, 2012: "I just donated a…
“I was fired from my job yesterday for being a pervert. I don’t understand; I’m always hard at work”
"Hard at work" is a saying that can also have a sexual connotation. "I got fired from my job as a porn actor because i wasnt always hard at work" was posted on Twitter on August…
“How do you make a sausage roll?”/“Push it.”
A sausage roll riddle is: Q: How do you make a sausage roll?A: Push it. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1925 and 1978. “How do you make an egg roll?"/"Push it,"…
“What do ducks eat for breakfast?”/“Quacker Oats.”
A duck riddle is: Q: What do ducks eat for breakfast?A: Quacker Oats. "Quacker Oats" puns were cited in print in 1978 and 1982, and the full riddle has been cited in print since at least…
“If you’re American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?”/“European.”
A nationality joke is: Q: If you’re an American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? A: European (you're a-peeing). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. 12 April…
Cryptocalypse or Cryptopocalypse (crypto + apocalypse)
"Cryptocalypse" and "cryptopocalypse" (crypto + apocalypse) have had more than one meaning. The first meaning describes the effects of quantum computing on encryption methods.…
“What do you call a spooky burrito?”/“A boo-rito.”
Chipotle Mexican Grill trademarked "boo-rito" -- a spooky Halloween "burrito" -- with a first use date of January 2000. "What did you do Kevin? #boorito? is this a spooky…