“An athlete won’t judge you for working out…”
"An athlete won't judge you for working out. A millionaire won't judge you for starting a business. A musician won't judge you for trying to sing a song. It's always the…
Archive for 12/2024
“A millionaire won’t judge you for starting a business…”
"An athlete won't judge you for working out. A millionaire won't judge you for starting a business. A musician won't judge you for trying to sing a song. It's always the…
“Celery is just an edible spoon for peanut butter”
“Chips are just edible spoons” and “French fries are just edible ketchup spoons” are related sayings. X/Twitter jeffyee @jeffee @cynthiapang Haha, every time I see celery, I wonder if that…
“Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house”
Many people believe that Christmas colors should be bright, but perhaps they are too bright. This was posted on X/Twitter by stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) on November 13, 2023 -- the tweet is now…
“Margarine is one molecule away from plastic and shares 27 ingredients with paint. Bon appetit!”
"Margarine is one molecule away from plastic and shares 27 ingredients with paint. Bon appetit!" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The statement has been fact-checked and…
“Two tips for Christmas: 1. Forget the past. You can’t change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn’t get you one”
"Two tips for Christmas: 1. Forget the past. You can't change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn't get you one" is a joke that has been printed on many images. There is a pun on…
“Forget the past, you can’t change it. Forget the future, you can’t predict it. Forget the present, I didn’t get you one” (birthday joke)
"Two tips for Christmas: 1. Forget the past. You can't change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn't get you one" is a joke that has been printed on many images. There is a pun on…
“Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation’s children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is”
"Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation's children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is" is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“A sock of pennies is a great weapon. You never know when you’ll need to beat some cents into someone”
"Cents" shouldn't be confused with "sense," but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 15, 2023: "A sock of pennies is a great weapon. You…
“Compliancy Theorist: One who believes nothing bad will ever happen as long as one complies hard enough”
The term "compliancy theorist" was invented to be the opposite of a "conspiracy theorist." While a conspiracy theorist questions the system, a compliancy theorist accepts and…
Compliancy Theorist
The term "compliancy theorist" was invented to be the opposite of a "conspiracy theorist." While a conspiracy theorist questions the system, a compliancy theorist accepts and…
“The Romaine empire has fallen. Caesar is dead. Lettuce pray”
"The Romaine empire has fallen. Caesar is dead. Lettuce pray" are three puns that have been printed on an image. "Roman Empire" becomes Romaine lettuce. "Julius…
“When people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, ‘Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, ‘No, it’s for company!’”
When visitors enter a home and see a cat's litter box, they often ask, "Have you got a cat?" The home's owner sometimes feels like giving a sarcastic answer to the unnecessary…
“Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice”
The Christmas song "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" (1934) contains the lyrics: "He's making a list And checking it twice; He's gonna find out who's naughty and…
“Everyone knows Santa isn’t real. Whoever heard of a man who makes a list AND checks it twice?”
The Christmas song "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" (1934) contains the lyrics: "He's making a list And checking it twice; He's gonna find out who's naughty and…
“Twitter is basically the modern version of talking to yourself in the mirror”
X/Twitter is a not-so-great social media place to post when a person has few followers, or is shadowbanned. It can be like talking to one's self in the mirror. "twitter is like talking to…
“Twitter is the social media equivalent of talking to yourself in the mirror”
X/Twitter is a not-so-great social media place to post when a person has few followers, or is shadowbanned. It can be like talking to one's self in the mirror. "twitter is like talking to…
“X is the social media equivalent of talking to yourself in the mirror”
X/Twitter is a not-so-great social media place to post when a person has few followers, or is shadowbanned. It can be like talking to one's self in the mirror. "twitter is like talking to…
“Twitter is like talking to yourself in a mirror of a public restroom and all the toilets are full”
X/Twitter is a not-so-great social media place to post when a person has few followers, or is shadowbanned. It can be like talking to one's self in the mirror. "twitter is like talking to…
“Things I trust more than government #10382: Dollar Tree Lobster”
"I trust gas station sushi move than I trust the government" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Sushi is a high-priced item that must be served fresh, and these are…