“If a tomato is a fruit, then pizza sauce is a jam”
Botanically, a tomato is a fruit. "If a tomato is a fruit, then ketchup is a jam" and "If a tomato is a fruit, then tomato sauce is a jam" and "If a tomato is a fruit, then…
Archive for 07/2021
“Indian restaurants are naan profit businesses while Vietnamese restaurants are pho profit”
"Your Indian restaurant is naan profit? My Vietnamese is pho profit" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on February 9, 2017. "Naan" sounds like "non" and "pho"…
“What’s a zombie’s favorite weather?”/“Brainstorms.”
A zombie riddle was posted on Reddit -- Zombies on May 17, 2011, taken from this rage comic of the day before: Q: What is a zombie's favorite weather?A: BRAINSTORMS. Zombies, as everyone…
“Why are there no dominatrixes at sandwich shops?”/“Because they’re all subs.”
"Dominance and submission" or "dom/sub" does not apply to "sub" sandwiches, but there are jokes. "thegutlesswonder: a bdsm themed sandwich shop called Dom’s…
“If a tomato is a fruit, then tomato sauce is a jam”
Botanically, a tomato is a fruit. "If a tomato is a fruit, then ketchup is a jam" and "If a tomato is a fruit, then tomato sauce is a jam" and "If a tomato is a fruit, then…
“Don’t let your printer know you’re in a hurry. They smell fear”
"Don't let your printer know you're in a hurry. They smell fear" (or "Never hint to a printer that you're in a rush. Those bastards smell fear") is a jocular…
“How does an apothecary pleasure his wife?”/“Elixir.”
An apothecary riddle is: Q: How does an apothecary pleasure his wife?A: Elixir. "Elixir" sounds like "he licks her." "How does the apothecary make his wife Orgasm?…
“I want to open a BDSM-themed sandwich shop called Dom’s Subs”
"Dominance and submission" or "dom/sub" does not apply to "sub" sandwiches, but there are jokes. "thegutlesswonder: a bdsm themed sandwich shop called Dom’s…
“If a tomato is a fruit, then ketchup is a jam”
Botanically, a tomato is a fruit. "If a tomato is a fruit, then ketchup is a jam" and "If a tomato is a fruit, then tomato sauce is a jam" and "If a tomato is a fruit, then…
“Never hint to a printer that you’re in a rush. Those bastards smell fear”
"Don't let your printer know you're in a hurry. They smell fear" (or "Never hint to a printer that you're in a rush. Those bastards smell fear") is a jocular…
“Why has no one named Dominick opened a sandwich shop called Dom’s Subs?”
"Dominance and submission" or "dom/sub" does not apply to "sub" sandwiches, but there are jokes. "thegutlesswonder: a bdsm themed sandwich shop called Dom’s…
“This morning I called my mom by ‘birth giver’ and she replied ‘yes, financial drain?’”
Parents and children have new nicknames for each other. This was posted on Twitter by yerl on January 11, 2019: "This morning I called my mom by ‘birth giver’ and she replied ‘yes,…
“I had to walk to school uphill, both ways! – M.C. Escher”
“I used to walk five miles to and from school, uphill both ways” is a joke on what some parents tell children. However, sometimes the speaker is stated to be Dutch graphic artist M. C. Escher…
“The employee shortage is so bad that long haired freaky people can now apply”
"And the sign said 'Long-haired freaky people need not apply'" is from the song "Signs" (1971) by the Canadian rock group Five Man Electrical Band. However, in 2021…
“August is just gold wind”
"August" is not "Au" (the chemical symbol of gold) and "gust" (wind), but there are "gold(en) wind" jokes. "The most millionaires are made in the month…
“In Texas, the shade is just diet sun”
Some people assume that it is cooler in the shade. People in the South know that it is still hot. "In the South, shade is just diet Sun" was posted on Twitter by clark glizzwald on July…
“In the South, shade is just diet sun”
Some people assume that it is cooler in the shade. People in the South know that it is still hot. "In the South, shade is just diet Sun" was posted on Twitter by clark glizzwald on July…
“Beer is karaoke fuel”
Many people who can't sing look silly performing karaoke, and alcohol can help to fuel this. "Women drink vodka, rum, bourbon, tequila, why is whiskey a big deal? All good karaoke…
“Wine is karaoke fuel”
Many people who can't sing look silly performing karaoke, and alcohol can help to fuel this. "Women drink vodka, rum, bourbon, tequila, why is whiskey a big deal? All good karaoke…
“Houston is two hours away from Houston”
"Houston is an hour away from Houston" is a popular saying for two reasons: (1) Houston is the largest city in the United States in total area, and (2) there is a lot of traffic. Some…