“I finished Netflix today”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be locked down at home, where many of these people watched Netflix (an American media-services provider). "I finished Netflix…
Archive for 05/2020
“FYI: wearing a mask with your nose sticking out is like wearing a condom with the tip cut off”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "FYI: wearing a mask with your nose sticking out is like wearing a condom with the tip cut off" is a…
Controlavirus (control + coronavirus)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was called the "controlavirus" (control + coronavirus) by some who believed that the most harmful thing of the coronavirus was the loss of liberty and…
Controllavirus (control + coronavirus)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was called the "controlavirus" (control + coronavirus) by some who believed that the most harmful thing of the coronavirus was the loss of liberty and…
“I can’t drink responsibly because responsibilities are why I drink”
"Drink responsibly" is a popular saying. "They say 'Drink Responsibly' but my Responsibilities are why I drink" was posted on Twitter by Jerry Albitre on September 14,…
“To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you. I have contacts”
"Contact lenses" shouldn't be confused with "contacts," but there are jokes. "Someone stole my glasses. I will find you. I have my contacts" was posted on Twitter…
“Sex is like math. I don’t get it”
Many students have trouble with math...and other things. "Math is like sex, I don't get it ;p" was posted on Twitter by @ramonthetaco on December 29, 2010. "Math is like sex. I…
“I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves”
A popular jokes is told about Matryoshka dolls, also called Russian dolls or nesting dolls. "RT @sillybeggar 'Russian dolls are really full of themselves'" was posted on Twitter…
“When you let governments do whatever they want, you get Waco”
"When you let people do whatever they want, you get Woodstock. When you let governments do whatever they want, you get Auschwitz" was written by Doug Newman and printed in The Libertarian…
“When you let governments do whatever they want, you get Auschwitz”
"When you let people do whatever they want, you get Woodstock. When you let governments do whatever they want, you get Auschwitz" was written by Doug Newman and printed in The Libertarian…
Covert Operation Via Infectious Disease (COVID-19 backronym)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute…
“Baking cakes can be considered math, science or art” (for homeschooling)
"Cooking is an art, baking is a science” is an old saying, with many variations. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic created many confusing regulations. Adley Stump, of The Adley Show on…
“The plan will be a phased plan that we plan to utilize in phases”
A jocular 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic reopening plan has been cited in print since at least April 30, 2020: "We have a 6 phase plan to reopen the state. The plan will be a phased plan that…
“Baking cakes can be considered math, science or art”
"Cooking is an art, baking is a science” is an old saying, with many variations. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic created many confusing regulations. Adley Stump, of The Adley Show on…
“To make us love our city, we must make our city lovely” (Municipal Art Society motto)
The Municipal Art Society (MAS) of New York City was founded in March 1893. "To make us love our city, we must make our city lovely" was the first MAS motto. "To make us love our…
“Are you a pole vaulter?”/“No. I am German but how did you know my name was Walter?”
A classic Summer Olympics joke has someone (such as a reporter) ask a participant in track and field: REPORTER: Are you a pole vaulter?ATHLETE: No, I'm German, but how did you know that my…
Covert Operation Viral Infectious Disease (COVID-19 backronym)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute…
“How do locomotives hear?”/“Through the engineers.”
A classic train riddle is: Q: How do locomotives hear?A: Through their engine ears (engineers). The riddle was printed in the Waterloo City (IN) Press, "Queer Queries" by Prof. G. Howe…
“Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract clothes, divide legs, and pray you don’t multiply”
"How is math like sex? First, you ADD a bed. Then, SUBTRACT the clothes. DIVIDE the legs and MULTIPLY!" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor under the title "Old Math Joke" on…
“Well slap my ass and call me a paycheck because I’m never enough”
Some paychecks never seem to be enough, and some people feel like they are never enough. "Well slap my ass and call me a paycheck, cause I’m never enough" was posted on Twitter by $.o.$…