“Men are like wine — age sours the bad and betters the good”
A wine quotation was credited to Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 BC-43 BC) in Gleason's Pictorial Drawing-Room Companion (Boston, MA) on August 27, 1853: "Cicero has said of men: -- 'They…
Archive for 09/2018
“Men are like wine; some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age”
A wine quotation was credited to Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 BC-43 BC) in Gleason's Pictorial Drawing-Room Companion (Boston, MA) on August 27, 1853: "Cicero has said of men: -- 'They…
“What did the curtain say to the floor?”/“Stop looking under my skirt!”
A riddle about curtains is: Q: What did the curtain say to the floor?A: "Stop looking under my skirt!" "@MiaTyler this is my 6yr. old's joke: what did the curtain say to the…
“What did the curtain say to the window?”/“I’ve got you covered.”
A riddle about curtains is: Q: What did the curtain say to the window?A: "I've got you covered." "Rob: What did the curtain say to the window? Roy: Don't move, I've…
“Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate Halloween” (joke)
Jehovah's Witnesses are famous for knocking on the doors of people's homes. Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween, and many see irony in that. "Jehovah's…
“When communists have sex, do they seize the means of reproduction?”
Communists usually seek to control the "means of production," but there are "reproduction" jokes. "Sex communists, seizing the means of reproduction" was posted on…
“My spirit animal is Grey Goose”
"My spirit animal is Grey Goose" (a brand of vodka) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My spirit animal is Grey Goose" was posted on Twitter by…
“Technically, it’s impossible to skip breakfast”
"Technically, it's impossible to skip breakfast. The first time you eat during a day is when you 'break your fast'" was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on May 23, 2014.…
“Today’s good mood is brought to you by coffee”
"Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee" (or "Today's good mood is brought to you by coffee") is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images.…
Troy: COB Pizza (cheese-on-bottom)
"Red Front Pizza (Home of the COB)" is how the Red Front restaurant in Troy, New York (another restaurant is in Clifton Park, NY) bills itself on its website. "COB" stands for…
“Relationships are like wine. They get better with age, or turn to vinegar”
A wine quotation was credited to Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 BC-43 BC) in Gleason's Pictorial Drawing-Room Companion (Boston, MA) on August 27, 1853: "Cicero has said of men: -- 'They…
“A pilot is just a flying bus driver”
An airline pilot is sometimes called a "flying bus driver." "Remember that most of the time, a pilot is a very well trained flying bus driver" was posted on the newsgroup…
“Who’s the coolest guy in the hospital?”/“The ultra-sound guy.”
A hospital riddle is: Q: Who's the coolest guy in the hospital?A: The ultra-sound guy. "Q: Who's the coolest person in a hospital? A: The ultra sound guy" was posted on Twitter…
“When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner”
"When I grow up, I'd like to be a retired lottery winner" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "When I grow up I'd like to be a 'Retired…
“If you want the traffic light to turn green, look for something in your glovebox”
Waiting at a red light can seemingly take a long time. However, if someone wants to do a small task at the red light (such as sipping a drink), the traffic light seems to turn green right away.…
“Autumn skies and pumpkin pies”
"Autumn skies and pumpkin pies" is a fall saying that has been printed on many images. "Better fall fair theme: autumn skies and pumpkin pies OR country roots and rubber boots? The…
“If you are what you eat, do bodybuilders eat mussels?”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“I don’t care for cheese. I’m a curdmudgeon”
A "curmudgeon" should not be confused with a "curdmudgeon" (curds + curdmudgeon), but there are jokes. "@BeerCurmudgeon cheese-curd-mudgeon" was posted on Twitter by…
“The only good time to say ‘I have diarrhea’ is during a game of Scrabble”
"The only time it's good to yell 'I have diarrhea' is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points" is a jocular saying that has been…
“A bar goes into a guy…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A different version is: "A bar goes into a guy. It was a gay bar." The joke was…