“Autumn skies and pumpkin pies”
"Autumn skies and pumpkin pies" is a fall saying that has been printed on many images. "Better fall fair theme: autumn skies and pumpkin pies OR country roots and rubber boots? The…
Archive for 09/2018
“What do camels eat to help them fall asleep?”/“Camel meals.”
"Chamomile" tea sounds like "camel meal." "Enjoying some Camel-meal tea (lol)" was posted on Twitter by "centralian shop" on May 9, 2009. "hahaha did…
“Why did the dog sit in the shade?”/“Because he didn’t want to be a hot dog.”
A hot dog riddle is: Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade?A: Because he didn't want to be a hot dog. The hot dog joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. 6 June 2001, Orlando (FL)…
“I love bowling! It’s the perfect workout. Six seconds of exercise, drink beer half an hour”
"Bowling is the ideal sport. It’s basically an hour of drinking beer occasionally interrupted by six seconds of exercise" is a bowling saying that has been printed on several images.…
“Most of my clothes have been to countries that I have not”
Many clothes are made in poor countries and not in the United States. "Isn't it funny how our clothes have been to countries/places we've never been to? xD" was posted on…
“Police are hunting a knitting needle murderer. They think he’s following some sort of pattern”
Many serial murders follow a "pattern" -- but usually not a knitting pattern. "Police huntin the knitting needle murderer, he stabbed 6 people in the arse in a month, they believe he…
“If you stay at the table long enough, the chips come to you”
American actress Marilyn Cooper (1934-2009) made her Broadway debut in the chorus of Mr. Wonderful (1956); the following year, she was cast in West Side Story (1957). When Cooper won the Tony award…
“I’ve been bored recently so I’ve decided to take up fencing. The neighbors want it back”
There's a difference between "fencing" (a sport) and "fencing" (that goes around a house), but there are jokes. "I've been bored recently so I've decided to…
“Why do people kill animals?”/“Fur convenience steak”
An animal riddle is: Q: Why do people kill animals?A: Fur convenience steak. The answer is a pun on "for convenience sake." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2008. ElaKiri…
“Why does vegan cheese taste bad?”/“It hasn’t been tested on mice.”
Mice eat cheese, but do they eat vegan cheese? A riddle is: Q: Why does vegan cheese taste bad?A: It hasn't been tested on mice. The vegan cheese joke has been cited in print since at least…
“Why did the tofu cross the road?”/“To prove he wasn’t chicken.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A tofu version is: Q: Why did the tofu cross the road? A: To prove he…
“Why did the tofu cross the road?”/“To prove he wasn’t chicken.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A tofu version is: Q: Why did the tofu cross the road? A: To prove he…
“It’s the most wonderful time to drink beer”
"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" (1963) is a Christmas song that was recorded by singer Andy Williams (1927-2012). "It's the most wonderful time to drink…
“The world’s most prolific Facebook user sadly passed away. We shall not see his Like again”
Facebook is an online social media website that allows users to "like" posts. A joke was posted on Twitter by Chris on April 23, 2011: "The world's most prolific Facebook user…
“What’s 12 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?”/“My boss’s tie.”
A political joke has been cited in print since at least 1990: Q: What's twelve inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? A: Dukakis's necktie. Michael Dukakis was the Democratic…
“When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs and rear”
The classic Christmas poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" contains the lines: "When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer."…
“What did I get for Christmas? Fat. I got fat”
"What did I get for Christmas? Fat. I got fat" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Knows what i'm getting for christmas: fat" was posted on Twitter by…
“As long as we have wine, the holidays will be fine”
As long as we have wine, the holidays will be fine" is a seasonal saying that has been printed on many images. "As long as we have wine the holidays will be fine" was posted on…
“Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?”
"Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Her full name was something like Candy Cane, which seemed so perfect.…
“Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other”
"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Ann Landers," the pen name of a syndicated…