“It’s Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve”
"God made/created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” has been an anti-gay slogan. "It’s Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve" is a jocular variation on this. "God made…
Archive for 12/2017
“The food pyramid is a ‘pyramid’ not ‘triangle,’ so what’s on the other sides?”
The "food pyramid" is a triangular diagram of suggested food servings. However a pyramid has at least two other sides, plus a side that is the base. "It's the food PYRAMID…
“I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone”
"I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone" -- referring to the days before smartphones -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on several images.…
“What do you call a snowman on roller blades?”/“A snowmobile.”
A winter riddle is: Q: What do you call a snowman on roller blades?A: A snowmobile. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998. December 1998, Ranger Rick, "Reader riddles," pg.…
“You want to be sick enough to stay home, but well enough to enjoy video games”
An acceptable sickness to some people is being too sick to go to school or to work, but well enough to play video games at home. "Homemade turkey and vegetable broth with rotini for me and the…
Freeze Peach (“free speech,” and sometimes an ice cream flavor)
Entry in progress -- B.P. OCLC WorldCat recordFreeze peach : publication by students of Westland High School.Author: Westland High School.Publisher: [Hokitika, N.Z.] : Westland High School,…
“Million Dollar Video Game Idea: A game that teaches gamers how to say words to women”
A stereotype of a video gamer is a male who can't approach women. "Million Dollar Video Game Idea: A game that teaches gamers how to say words to women" is a saying that has been…
“What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?” (riddle)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokesDifferenceRobert Nykvist3/2/95(...)17. What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?The fisherman baits his hooks.The…
“Video games are just really intense thumb wars”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsVideo games are just really intense thumb wars.submitted March 17, 2016 by mizpixy Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsVideo games are just long-range thumb…
“Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called ‘beautiful’ chocolate, just one time”
"Why would you call it hot chocolate maybe it wants to be called beautiful chocolate” is a jocular saying that was posted on Twitter on July 16, 2013. "What if it doesn't want to…
“Waiter: Do you wanna box for that? Diner: No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitter Frank Berry Jr. @FrankBerryAt the end of my meal last night:Waiter: "You wanna box for that?" Me: "No. But I'll WRESTLE you for…
“I’m pretty sure it’s easier to leave most street gangs than it is to cancel a gym membership”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterBill Murray @BiIIMurrayI’m pretty sure that it’s easier to leave most street gangs than it is to cancel a membership to a gym.12:30 PM - 21 Dec 2017
“Why is a foot a good Christmas present?”/“Because it’s a great stocking filler.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: Why is a foot a good Christmas present?A: Because it's a great stocking filler. The Christmas joke has been cited in print since at least 2010. Twitterabbie…
“What’s the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?” (joke)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Ritz CrackersRitz Crackers are a brand of snack cracker introduced by Nabisco in 1934. Outside the United States, the Ritz Cracker brand is made by a subsidiary…
“I got so drunk last night, I don’t know if I found some keys or lost a car”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitter Sawyer Stone @FuckinnShiti sooooooo wasted I don't kno if I found some keys or lost a car2:19 PM - 26 Sep 2013 TwitterRyan @RyanGoodyerI'm so…
“How do you decorate a canoe for Christmas?”/“With oar-naments.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: How do you decorate a canoe for Christmas? A: With oar-naments. The Christmas joke has been cited in print since at least 2005. Google BooksCrazy Christmas JokesBy Alison…
“I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got was icy stares”
A winter joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on April 25, 2017: "I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got was icy stares." "Icy…
Indiana: “If the kitchen’s in the house and Diana’s in the kitchen, what’s in Diana?”
An Indiana riddle is: "If the kitchen's in the house, and Diana's in the kitchen, then what's in Diana?" The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia:…
“You want to be too sick for school, but well enough to play video games”
An acceptable sickness to some people is being too sick to go to school or to work, but well enough to play video games at home. "Homemade turkey and vegetable broth with rotini for me and the…
“Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?”/“They always drop their needles.”
A Christmas tree riddle is: Q: Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters? A: They both drop their needles. The Christmas joke has been cited in print since at least 1994. Google BooksThe Father…