“A fish in sea” (“efficiency” pun)
"A fish in sea" sounds like the word "efficiency." There have been several puns and riddles. "Efficiency (A Fish In Sea), a film about a man's preoccupation with…
Archive for 12/2017
“What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?”/“They get their masters.”
There is a difference between "master's" (a degree) and "masters." A dog riddle was posted on Twitter on April 15, 2013: "Stupid joke of the day: What do dogs do after…
“What’s a cannibal’s favorite cookie?”/“Ladyfingers.”
Entry in progress. -- B.P. Wikipedia: Ladyfinger (biscuit)Ladyfingers (often called with their original Italian name, savoiardi, or sponge fingers in British English) are low density, dry,…
“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber”
"If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber" (cute + cucumber) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "'If you were a vegetable, you'd be a…
“Happy whatever doesn’t offend you” (greeting)
"Happy whatever doesn't offend you" is a greeting appropriate for all holidays and all religions that has been printed in many images. "Merry Christmas," for example, might…
“I changed the name of my hard drive to ‘that thang’” (joke)
A computer joke was posted on Twitter on October 13, 2010: "I changed the name of my hard drive to 'that thang', so once a month, my computer asks me if i wanna back that that thang…
“What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?”/“COOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLL!”
No one likes to get a lump of coal in a Christmas stocking. Soccer announcer Andrés Cantor is known for his iconic "Goal!" shout when one is scored. A riddle was posted on Reddit --…
“A teacher walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A teacher version is: "A teacher walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Can I buy…
“I would’ve kept off the grass, but I don’t understand sign language”
There are many "Keep off the Grass" signs. A joke was posted on the website Tearable Puns on September 19, 2014: "I would've kept off the grass, but I don't understand sign…
“If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple”
"If you were a fruit, you'd be a fineapple" (fine + pineapple) is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "If I were a fruit, Id be a fineapple" was posted on…
“Zoos are elaborate prisons for animals who aren’t delicious”
Do people keep animals alive only if they're not good to eat? "I'm all for being an activist for animals as long as those animals aren't delicious" was posted on Twitter on…
“An English teacher walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A teacher version is: "A teacher walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Can I buy…
“How does North Korea celebrate Christmas?”/“With missile tows.”
"Missile tow" is a pun on "mistletoe." "Santa knows the missile-tows the line in every way" is the line of the song "The 24 Sours Of Christmas" that dates to…
“When did the Japanese start eating omelettes?”/“A long tamago.”
"Tamago" (Japanese for "grilled egg") sounds like "time ago." "I used to make jokes about Japanese eggs... But I quit a long tamago" was posted on Reddit --…
“Heat makes things expand, so I don’t have a weight problem. I’m just hot”
"Heat makes things expand, so I don't have a weight problem. I'm just hot" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Thought of the day: If heat makes…
“For Christmas, I bought my wife new beads for her abacus. It’s the little things that count”
"As I was once told by a dwarf holding an abacus—'it’s the little things that count'" is an abacus joke that was posted on the newsgroup rec.crafts.metalworking on October…
“What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer?”/“Comet.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?A: Comet. The Christmas joke was posted on Twitter on June 11, 2015. The joke has been printed on several images, such as…
“Why do Mexicans eat tamales on Christmas?”/“So they can have something to unwrap.”
Many Mexican-Americans eat tamales over Christmas. The
“Sometimes I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled my mouse wheel”
"Wondering how many miles I've scrolled with my mouse" is a saying about a computer "mouse" that was posted on Twitter on January 7, 2009. "Sometimes i wonder how many…
“Every fight is a food fight if you’re a cannibal”
What kind of food fights do cannibals have? "Every fight is a food fight if you're a cannibal" is a jocular one-liner from New York-born comedian Demetri Martin. Martin has used the…