“Why did the dog cross the road?”/“To get to the barking lot.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A dog version is: Q: Why did the dog cross the road? A: To get to the…
Archive for 10/2017
“I’ve been cutting carbs lately—with a pizza cutter”
People trying to lose weight often "cut carbs" (carbohydrates) from their diets, but this does not mean physically cutting them. "This is how I cut carbs (takes a pizza cutter to the…
“What do you call a nightmare about paper?”/“A bad ream.”
A nightmare is a bad dream; a nightmare about paper might be "a bad ream." "Awful nightmare last night. I dreamt I'd dropped precisely 500 sheets of A4 paper everywhere. Just a…
“How do you stop a dog from barking in the back yard?”/“Put it in the front yard.”
A dog riddle is: Q: Who do you stop a dog from barking in the back yard?A: Put it in the front yard. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1983. “How do you keep a dog from barking in…
“My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy…so I got drunk”
"My wife gave me £50 and said spend it on something that makes me look sexy. So I got drunk on Jack Daniels" was posted on Twitter on December 21, 2011. "Whilst out xmas shopping…
“How do you stop a dog from barking in the street?”/“Put him in a barking lot!”
A car riddle was published in Bennett Cerf's Book of Animal Riddles (1964): Q: What is a good way to keep a dog off the street?A: Put him in a barking lot! "How do you stop a dog from…
“How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car?”/“Put him in the front.”
A car riddle was published in Bennett Cerf's Book of Animal Riddles (1964): Q: How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of a car?A: Have him sit in front with you.…
“How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?”/“Hide their trainers.”
A riddle about laptop batteries "running out" is: Q: How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?A: Hide their trainers (sneakers). The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“Where do construction workers go to drink?”/“The Rebar.”
A construction riddle is: Q: Where do construction workers go to drink?A: The Rebar. The joke was posted on Twitter on June 18, 2014, and on Reddit -- Jokes on October 17, 2017. Wikipedia:…
“What’s a police officer’s favorite gaming console?”/“WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U.”
Wii U s a home video game console developed by Nintendo. The name sounds like a European police siren. "Sounds like a euro police siren. Wii U...wii u...wii u" was posted on Twitter on…
“I got thrown out of a strip club last night for using Monopoly money”
"Monopoly money" (from the board game Monopoly
“I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day. I knew it would come back to haunt me”
A boomerang pun was posted on Twitter on October 31, 2009: "I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day. I knew it would come back to haunt me." The ghost joke has been popular around…
“I’m gonna be a Social Justice Warrior for Halloween” (joke)
A Halloween joke was posted on Twitter by Adam Hunter on October 27, 2016: "I'm gonna be a Social Justice Warrior for Halloween. When people ask me 'What are you?' I'm…
“Where do construction workers go to drink?”/“The Rebar.”
A construction riddle is: Q: Where do construction workers go to drink?A: The Rebar. The joke was posted on Twitter on June 18, 2014, and on Reddit -- Jokes on October 17, 2017. Wikipedia:…
“How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?”/“Hide their trainers.”
A riddle about laptop batteries "running out" is: Q: How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?A: Hide their trainers (sneakers). The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“Why don’t they allow donkeys in school?”/“Because no one likes a smart ass.”
A school riddle is: Q: Why don't they allow donkeys in school?A: Because no one likes a smart ass. "I know a donkey with an I.Q. of 138! Hasn't got a friend in the world. 'Cause…
“What’s a police officer’s favorite gaming console?”/“WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U.”
Wii U s a home video game console developed by Nintendo. The name sounds like a European police siren. "Sounds like a euro police siren. Wii U...wii u...wii u" was posted on Twitter on…
“Why did the Canadian cross the road?”/“To get to the middle.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a joke cited in print since at least 1847. "Why did the Canadian cross the road? To get to the middle," a Toronto entrepreneur said in…
“A BuzzFeed writer walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A BuzzFeed version is: "A BuzzFeed writer walks into a bar. You won't believe…
“Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?”/“Only if they have a very frank relationship.”
A hamburger and hot dog riddle is: Q: Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?A: Only if they have a very frank relationship. The joke was included in the book 101 Hamburger Jokes (1978) by Phil Hirsch.…