“What is musical and handy in a supermarket?”/“A Chopin Liszt.”
The Polish composer Frédéric François Chopin's last name sounds like "shopping," and the Hungarian composer Franz Liszt's last name sounds like "list." A popular…
Archive for 10/2017
“What do you get when you cross a Smurf with a cow?”/“Blue cheese.”
"Smurf" cartoon characters are blue, and a riddle is: Q: What do you get when you cross a Smurf with a cow?A: Blue cheese. The joke was posted on Twitter on July 28, 2011 (when the movie…
“What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?”/“Frostbite.”
A popular Halloween and winter riddle is: Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?A: Frostbite. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1989, and has been printed on many…
“Where does Dracula water ski?”/“On Lake Erie, of course.”
A popular Halloween riddle is: Q: Where does Dracula water ski?A: On Lake Erie (eerie), of course. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.jokes.pentium on October 8, 1998. Wikipedia: Lake…
“Where do vampires learn to suck blood?”/“Law school.”
A vampire riddle is: Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood?A: Law school. The lawyer joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.prisons on September 28, 1997, and has been printed on several images.…
“What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?”/“A stake sandwich.”
A vampire riddle is: Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?A: A stake (steak) sandwich. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on October 30, 1999. “What does a vampire…
“Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?”/“He didn’t have a haunting license.”
"Haunting license" sounds a little like "hunting license." "Darn it, I forgot my haunting license!" was credited to American humorist Corey Ford (1902-1969).…
“Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?”/“Because his heart wasn’t in it.”
A skeleton riddle is: Q: Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?A: Because his heart wasn't in it. The Halloween joke has been cited in print since at least 1987. Google…
“What do rednecks do on Halloween?”/“Pump kin.”
"Pumpkin" is sometimes punned as "pump kin." A form of the "pump kin" joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on May 21, 1990. A Thanksgiving "redneck"…
“What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?”/“She witch-hiked.”
A witch riddle is: Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?A: She witch-hiked. The Halloween joke has been cited in print since at least 1996. 21 October 1996, Kokomo (IN) Tribune,…
“What happened to the monster that took the five o’clock train home?”/“He had to give it back.”
When people "take the train home," they do not literally "take" the train, but a riddle is: Q: What happened to the monster that took the five o'clock train home?A: He had…
“What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?”/“The actors get stage fright.”
A theatrical riddle is: Q: What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?A: The actors get stage fright. The popular Halloween joke was printed in many newspapers in 1990. 10 December 1990, Indiana…
“What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe?”/“A canoe tips.”
An ethnic stereotype is that Jewish people are stingy with money. A joke is: Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?A: A canoe tips. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“You could stand to lose 5 pounds…but running is more effective”
"Could stand to lose weight" doesn't involve literally standing, but there have been several jokes."Everyone in America could stand to lose some weight, but running would…
“Why did the zebra cross the road?”/“Because it was a zebra crossing.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A zebra version is: Q: Why did the zebra cross the road?A: Because it…
“What’s the most popular drink ordered at bars?”/“One more.”
"'One more' is the most popular drink I sell" was posted on Twitter on December 1, 2011. "My most popular drink order is 'I'll have another'" was posted…
“What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?”/“A wide scream TV.”
A Halloween riddle about wide-screen television is: Q: What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?A: A wide scream TV. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998. Google Books3650…
“What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe?”/“A canoe tips.”
An ethnic stereotype is that Jewish people are stingy with money. A joke is: Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?A: A canoe tips. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“A mugger says to a university student, ‘Your money or your life!’” (joke)
"'Your money or your life!' 'Haha! Joke's on you, I don't have either of those things'" is a joke about an attempted robbery that was posted on Twitter on…
“Why don’t skeletons play music in church?”/“They have no organs.”
A skeleton riddle is: Q: Why don't skeletons play music in church?A: They have no organs. The popular Halloween riddle has been cited in print since at least 1992. The joke was used in the…