“Yo mama is so fat, when she went skydiving she caused an eclipse”
A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "Yo mama is so fat, when she went skydiving she caused an eclipse." The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on August…
Archive for 08/2017
“Why didn’t you take the bus?” (joke)
A joke about a man who steals a car to get to work is: JUDGE: Why did you steal the car? MAN: I had to get to work.JUDGE: Why didn't you take the bus? MAN: I don't have a driver's…
“Cheerios are donut seeds”
Cheerios cereal has been called "donut seeds" on several images. "Polish Donut Seeds" (Cheerios) were sold in 1979. "There was enough time to sell Cheerios as donut seeds…
“The exact defense chili developed to preserve the species is the exact reason they are devoured”
A saying about the heat of chili peppers was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on August 19, 2017: "Chili peppers must be pretty pissed. The exact defense they developed to preserve the…
“You had one job” (meme)
"You had one job" is a caption frequently given on many images showing obvious fails. There is a website of these images, titled "You Had One Job! Job related fails even kids can get…
“I stole the car because I had to get to work” (joke)
A joke about a man who steals a car to get to work is: JUDGE: Why did you steal the car? MAN: I had to get to work.JUDGE: Why didn't you take the bus? MAN: I don't have a driver's…
“How does the man on the moon cut his hair?”/“Eclipse it.”
A riddle about the moon is: Q: How does the man in/on the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it. The "eclipse it"/"he clips it" pun has been cited in print since at least 1984. 16…
“Parking a single car doesn’t require much space. But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot”
A parking joke is: "Parking a single car doesn’t require much space. But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot." The joke was posted on Twitter by Mr. Drinks On Me on March 26,…
“Oh my God, a talking sausage!” (joke)
"The sausage joke" -- as the joke is sometimes called -- is really an anti-joke: "Two sausages are frying in a pan. One sausage says, 'Boy, it sure is hot in here.' The…
“How does the man in the moon cut his hair?”/“Eclipse it.”
A riddle about the moon is: Q: How does the man in/on the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it. The "eclipse it"/"he clips it" pun has been cited in print since at least 1984. 16…
“What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to eat?”/“Thistle have to do!”
An animal riddle (frequently told at Easter) is: Q: What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to east?A: "Thistle have to do!" The "thistle" pun has been cited in print…
“Checking social media at work is our generation’s smoke break”
Workers in the 1950s took smoke breaks. Workers in the 21st century take breaks for other reasons, frequently associated with social media. "I have decided that the Internet is this…
“Why did the cow cross the road?”/“To get to the udder side.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A cow version is: Q: Why did the cow cross the road?A: To get to the…
“There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator” (math joke)
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator (Only a fraction of people will find this funny)" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images.…
“What kind of underwear should you wear during an eclipse?”/“Fruit of the moon.”
A solar eclipse riddle is: Q: What kind of underwear should you wear during an eclipse?A: Fruit of the moon. The joke was posted by Boys' Life magazine on August 16, 2017. Wikipedia: Fruit of…
“If you do pass the McKinley bill, we shall have to come over to your country and thrash you”
On "National Tell a Joke Day" (August 16, 2017), the Library of Congress Blog told the story of what could be the first audio recording of a joke. The joke concerned the Tariff Act of…
“Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life”
"Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life" is a jocular programming saying that has been printed on many images. Michael Sinz (Amiga…
“What famous Greek might have invented baseball?’/“Homer.”
A baseball riddle is: Q: What famous Greek might have invented baseball?A: Homer. "That old Greek feller, Homer, the one who invented Baseball Batting averages, or something" was printed…
“How do you tune a fish?”/“With its scales.”
A tuna fish riddle is: Q: How do you tune a (tuna) fish?A: With its scales. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1916. “You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish” is a related…
“I don’t see why there aren’t marches against fat shaming…” (joke)
A joke about marches -- and fat people -- was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 19, 2017: "I don't see why in this day and age there aren't marches against fat shaming. Because…